| February 15, 2010 Safely into His Heavenly Kingdom" "The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen." 2 Timothy 4:18 ESV Isn’t that a wonderful verse! What greater assurance do we need? Either from death or through death He will rescue us or deliver us and take us home to "the Father’s House," to His heavenly kingdom where we will dwell in perfect safety and joy and fellowship and pleasure throughout eternity. Minnie is there right now enjoying that fellowship with Jesus and with others, especially with her family. John Calvin wrote, "True salvation [is] when the Lord–either by life or by death–conducts us into His kingdom. And Paul, by ascribing to God this work of ‘preserving us to his kingdom,’ openly affirms that we are guided by His hand during the whole course of our life, till, having discharged the whole of our warfare, we obtain the victory." XXI, p. 271 Calvin, 2nd Epistle to Timothy We will live in God’s heavenly kingdom in the future in our glorified bodies. ". . . Whom He justified, them He also glorified." Romans 8:30 "Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world." Matthew 25:34 "For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:11 The Apostle Paul "sat alone in a dark, filthy prison, facing Nero's certain sentence of death. He was not bitter but, like his Lord, prayed for his persecutors." He wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, "The time of my departure has come. . . . The Lord will deliver me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom." 2
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Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Dying Slowly
She knew what was happening. Three years of struggling with pancreatic cancer through surgery, chemo, and radiation had taken their toll. She wrote in her journal, "This is something that I had to face head on. We will all be faced with death as God did not create us to live on this earth forever. . . . Some of us know we are dying sooner rather than later. Others die with no warning. I have had a lot of time to think about death and dying. I know that Jesus will come for me and take me to heaven where I will be reunited with family members who have gone before. . . ."
"Thinking of leaving those I love is painful, but I have to trust the Lord to be their comfort and to take care of them. It is wonderful that the Lord gave us memories so we can think back as promises that help us think ahead. If we know the Lord Jesus, we will be together in Heaven."
"I made a decision that I did not want a funeral mourning my death-but memorial services to celebrate my life and all the Lord has done for me. I know my loved ones will mourn, but I hope it will not be as the world mourns-but as people with confidence that their Mimi is in Heaven with the Lord."
Facing death, Minnie had a tranquility of the soul, not dependent upon her doleful outward circumstances but on her inner strength from God. She told many people who came to talk to her that she had perfect peace within her heart. And she knew where that peace came from. She wrote, "May my family remember that my strength was from the Lord. . . . May the God of all comfort be our comfort. Let's be grateful for all the good years together."
To the very end she wanted to comfort her family and reassure them that all was well. She wrote, "I hope my family will remember that I loved each one of them with all of my heart. . . . The oncologist was clear that medically, nothing else can be done. So I am where I have always been-in God's hands. . . ."
Three things marked my wife's encounter with death: 1) looking to the Lord for strength and finding it there; 2) taking the perspective of eternity, confident that the promises of scripture were true. Two years ago I heard her pray, "Thank you, Lord, for 70 years of good health, strength, and energy. And 3) living life one day at a time, seeking the simple things in life she could be thankful for in spite of nausea, weakness and pain. There were times of respite and enjoyment and pleasurable conversation as her struggles brought us even closer together. She never stopped being thankful. One of the last things we heard her say was, "God has given me so much happiness!"
-Minnie Burnside
"Thinking of leaving those I love is painful, but I have to trust the Lord to be their comfort and to take care of them. It is wonderful that the Lord gave us memories so we can think back as promises that help us think ahead. If we know the Lord Jesus, we will be together in Heaven."
"I made a decision that I did not want a funeral mourning my death-but memorial services to celebrate my life and all the Lord has done for me. I know my loved ones will mourn, but I hope it will not be as the world mourns-but as people with confidence that their Mimi is in Heaven with the Lord."
Facing death, Minnie had a tranquility of the soul, not dependent upon her doleful outward circumstances but on her inner strength from God. She told many people who came to talk to her that she had perfect peace within her heart. And she knew where that peace came from. She wrote, "May my family remember that my strength was from the Lord. . . . May the God of all comfort be our comfort. Let's be grateful for all the good years together."
To the very end she wanted to comfort her family and reassure them that all was well. She wrote, "I hope my family will remember that I loved each one of them with all of my heart. . . . The oncologist was clear that medically, nothing else can be done. So I am where I have always been-in God's hands. . . ."
Three things marked my wife's encounter with death: 1) looking to the Lord for strength and finding it there; 2) taking the perspective of eternity, confident that the promises of scripture were true. Two years ago I heard her pray, "Thank you, Lord, for 70 years of good health, strength, and energy. And 3) living life one day at a time, seeking the simple things in life she could be thankful for in spite of nausea, weakness and pain. There were times of respite and enjoyment and pleasurable conversation as her struggles brought us even closer together. She never stopped being thankful. One of the last things we heard her say was, "God has given me so much happiness!"
-Minnie Burnside
Sunday, August 28, 2011
10. At Home Again, 1967-69
At Home Again 1967-69
We brought Tippy and her puppies back home with us, of course, and our neighbors were delighted to see us return. Here is Maxine talking to Minnie and the children and admiring Tippy's puppies.
The summer ended and the regular routine of life began once again. After breakfast the children each had their chores to do as well as getting ready to go to school. Here Jeannine and Lolly are putting together the lunches that their Mom had planned. Notice the children's pictures that Minnie had hung on the wall and the simple white curtains that were light and added to the pleasantness of the house.
All six of the family went to school and had exciting stories to tell the family at supper time. They all did well and they all worked hard. Minnie really enjoyed the years at Long Beach City College. It was intellectually stimulating and she enjoyed the social contact, especially with other young mothers.
No matter how busy she was, Minnie always managed to fix a pleasant evening meal and we all enjoyed the relaxed conversation around the dinner table. We usually had the family Bible reading and prayer right after supper and then did the dishes after that. The children played or read or did homework. We had television only on Friday evening and the week-end. Before going to bed we read together as a family. In 1967 we read “Oliver Twist,” “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, “ Rock of Freedom: The Story of the Plymouth Colony, and “The Last Battle” by C.S. Lewis.
The children helped on Saturdays, too, of course. Here are Lolly and Billy painting the back yard fence—and it sure needed it!
And we went to church and Sunday School every week and celebrated holidays when they came. December was marred by Billy needing to be hospitalized for asthma but his stay was short and he was soon better.
And the children always loved the excitement of preparations for Christmas. Here they are decorating Christmas cookies the way they did every year. They were so accustomed to their Mom cooking and teaching them to bake and enjoy what they made.
1967 was the Year of the Kilts in our family. I loved things Scottish and so did Minnie. So she made a kilt for herself and for both girls.
Argentina Summer 1968
Summer of 1968 I had the opportunity to go to Argentina to teach illiterate Guarani Indians to read and write in Spanish. That meant Minnie would have the full responsibility of taking care of the house and the four children while I was gone, but she readily consented to that. It was a very unusual experience and all the family was very interested.
9. Sabbatical Leave in Mexico, 1967
9. Sabbatical Leave in Mexico, 1967
In 1964 the principal of the junior high school where I taught in Belmont Shore in Long Beach, California, asked me if I would like to continue my study of Spanish so that I could teach Spanish. They had a shortage of Spanish teachers then and he noticed that my undergraduate transcript included 15 semester hours of Spanish. The U.S. was in the “post-sputnik” era and it was clearly apparent that the U.S. was falling behind in math, science, and foreign languages. So the Congress passed the National Defense Education Act (NDEA) which was designed to train teachers in those three areas.
So I was given the opportunity to study with 60 other teachers “total immersion” Spanish at Pomona College in Claremont, California in the summer of 1964. All of the teaching except for two classes was conducted in Spanish and we were required to live in the dorm during the week but could go home on week-ends. Discussion at meal times and throughout the campus was to be only in Spanish. Our fluency improved a lot and we all learned a lot about linguistics and teaching methodology.
I drove from Lakewood to Claremont with the family on Sunday evenings and then Minnie drove back home with the children. And she came to get me on Friday evenings. I didn’t realize until many years later how difficult this was for her because she never complained. I’ve always driven so much that I never thought anything about it, but she hadn’t and she didn’t like driving and all the traffic made her uneasy. She told me many years later how hard it was for her to drive in the Los Angeles freeway traffic. But she did it anyway just because I needed her help. Of course when she and the children came to get me each Friday afternoon, she was relieved to turn the driving over to me and we all had a happy, animated conversation–and went somewhere special each Friday night. So I was oblivious as to how difficult those weeks were for Minnie.
I began teaching Spanish as well as English and the next summer (1965) we decided to spend three weeks in Saltillo, Mexico (in the mountains near Monterrey) at a language institute. That was an exciting experience for the whole family. We stayed in an apartment and ate our meals with a mother and daughter, both named Esperanza (which means “Hope” in Spanish). The daughter had a little boy Jon’s age named Juanito. The three boys played together and sometimes we went on picnics together.
Here the younger Esperanza had made a birthday cake for Minnie's 28th birthday.
We were assigned an “acompaňante” to help us as an interpreter and guide. Here the children are riding a burro on a “día del campo” (“a day in the country.”)
Jeannine and Billy are in front of the cathedral in Saltillo. Later our artist friend Chuck Wright painted this scene on a large canvas which we kept in our living room for several years.
The next summer (1966) I attended a second level (“overseas”) NDEA Institute in Puebla, Mexico. The 65 teachers in our group lived in the Hotel Colonial and took our meals there and used their facilities for classes. We were also assigned an “acompaňante” to accompany us as an interpreter as we each did a sociological study totally in Spanish. I chose to write on the evangelical churches in Puebla.
The experience was valuable for my teaching of Spanish and by this time the entire family had become very interested in Mexico so I was granted a sabbatical leave from my teaching duties in Long Beach in order to live in Mexico for the spring semester, 1967. Our children and also the junior high school students I taught got excited about the trip and decorated our Volkswagen bus.
That vehicle was not well-suited for the steep mountains of Mexico but it was very good for the children because I was able to turn the middle seat around and put a table beween the seats so that the children could all sit around the table and draw pictures or play games together. This picture is at a roadside park enroute to Texas on the way to Mexico. You'll notice that we're taking Tippy to Minnie's sister's home in El Dorado, Texas. We left her there and when we came home, she had puppies. You'll also notice the little Bible on the table. We had eaten breakfast in the VW bus while we were driving and when we stopped to rest and to give Tippy some water, Minnie read the daily Psalm to all of us. We always considered it an important part of our day to read the Psalms or some other scripture together. It was our spiritual food to go with our physical food.
It was a very long trip all the way to Puebla—80 miles east of Mexico City. Since I had spent the previous summer in Puebla, I was already acquainted with many places and some of the missionaries from Central American Mission and especially with Ed and Lois Oglesby, who had a mission called Ediciones Las Americas. They printed Sunday School materials and sent them all over Latin America. We became lifetime friends and stayed in contact—and we still are. Lois and Minnie corresponded often through the years. I even audited one of the Bible classes in the Central American Mission seminary there. And our children played with the Oglesby children. We often ate lunch at their house, too. And Ed and Lois helped us have a profitable visit in Puebla.
We rented an apartment in a middle class apartment house near some shops and a bakery and a little park. The children had brought their school work and needed to work on it regularly and they did. But the principal of their school thought that this experience of living in a foreign culture was more valuable than what they would have learned if they had stayed at home. And when they were tested when they returned, they all did very well.
I taught English part-time gratis at the University of Puebla. They let me interview many, many students and I selected the 22 students who knew enough English to hold a conversation with me. We met three times a week and, by common consent of the students, every Friday evening we had a little fiesta at different homes represented in the class—including our little apartment.
The children often attended school in the mornings just for the experience and they loved being there and making friends. They were not tested or graded but were just allowed to “be there.” It was a good cultural experience for them.
The children loved to go to the traditional market and we soon learned to buy fresh vegetables and fruits and lots of tortillas and bread. This market was in Puebla near our apartment.
This market was in San Luis Potosi in northern Mexico. Notice the
great variety of beans.
We also ate in inexpensive restaurants often. And everywhere there were many little parks called “plazas” or “zocalos.” The children learned quickly to drink only purified water.
And we went sight-seeing a lot. Sometimes we would take day trips. Other times we would stay overnight in a hotel. We all remember the trip to Oaxaca and all the colorful Indian dress we saw there. Near Oaxaca is the famous ancient pyramid Monte Alban which you see here. We also went to Teotihuacan, the Aztec ruins in Mexico City.
On one of our trips we went to the Isthmus of Tehuantapec, the narrowest part of Mexico and the children played on La Ventosa Beach. When we left, we hung their swimsuits out the van window and they dried in a very few miles.
There were no laundromats in Puebla in those days so Lois invited Minnie to do the weekly family washing at her house. Here is how she described Minnie 44 years later:“Energy personified--that was my description of Minnie. During her "wash day", she would also cook dinner for all 12 of us, bake yeast bread or make donuts, and sometimes tackle mending. With minimal help from us, "little Minnie" (otherwise known as Jeannine) managed the 7 younger children. Occasionally, I would comment to Minnie on her efficiency and she would minimize her abilities and claim she was faster only because she was tall and could reach everything without effort. She was taller than me but still…she was just a high-energy and efficient worker.” [E-mail letter from Lois Oglesby to William Burnside, February 25, 2011)
She was indeed. She knew she had a lot of ability and energy but it didn't make her proud because she knew where they came from! and gave glory and appreciation to God--and then used them so well! One of our favorite verses was 1 Corinthians. 4:7 “For who makes you to differ from another? and what do you have that you have not received? now if you have received it, why do you glory, as if you had not received it?”
The children made friends with a lot of the children in the neighborhood and the shop keepers. I remember a barbecue our whole family was invited to in a neighbor's house and another time Jeannine was invited to a birthday party. Here's a picture taken on that day. There was an older student who came downstairs a bit drunk one night with his guitar to teach me how to play the guitar. I was a totally inept pupil and he didn't succeed in even teaching the first part of lesson one. But he brought a white rabbit and the kids loved that. One of the games of the children in the apartment complex was to go up to the roof above the 5th floor and run and jump from apartment house to apartment house with a straight drop five stories down onto the pavement. And some of our kids would do the same. When Mom discovered what was happening, she immediately put an end to playing on the roof. One helpful part of her personality was that when she said, “No!” with a certain emphatic final tone, none of the children would ever challenge her. (And, yes, I did “back “ her on those rare times when she wanted or needed it.) Looking back on it, our children were exceptionally well-behaved on that whole trip which made a life-long impression on all of them.
One of the sweet friendships Minnie made was with a young beautician named Eloina. We went sight-seeing together and Eloina often was able to show us things we would not have seen without her help. She loved our children and was always very kind to Minnie. One day she came to our apartment to give Minnie a shampoo and cut her hair. But she did not speak English. When Eloina asked Minnie for some soap, “jabon,” Minnie went to the refrigerator to get the deli ham and make her a sandwich because she thought she was asking for “jamon” instead of “jabon.” We all had a good laugh over that one. Eloina decided to open her own beauty shop and she named it El Salon de Belleza Minie because she loved Minnie and thought she was very beautiful. After we returned home, Eloina corresponded with us in Spanish for awhile until she got married and then she wrote that her husband didn't want her to correspond any longer with Americans so we lost contact with her after that. Here is a picture of the bouffant hair style that Eloina did for Minnie.
The silver-mining mountain town of Taxco was one of the favorites for the children. They loved the things made out of silver and especially the pretty concha shells. They made friends quickly even for a brief visit on the way to Acapulco where we spent an entire week mostly on the beach. It was a quiet, peaceful time. The weather was perfect and we all enjoyed it immensely.
We had told Ed and Lois where we going and that I was taking only $100 U.S. Dollars with us and we would come back when that was used up. Ed laughed, “Well, we'll see you tomorrow then!” And when we were gone for an entire week, they began to get worried, but we were gone exactly one week and we spent exactly $100 U.S. Dollars.
We bought bread and rolls and cheese at the panaderia (bakery) and fruits at the traditional market and we found a clean simple place to stay on a hillside overlooking beautiful Acapulco harbor. It only cost $8. a night but after one night I realized the money wouldn't last at that rate so I asked the manager if he had anything “un poco mas barato”--a little cheaper. He took us down a flight of stone stairs and said there was no view from down there but it was clean and we could have it for $3. a night. So we took it as a place to sleep and bathe and we spent our days on the lovely beaches, as you can see from these pictures. Jon made friends with a European nun and two brothers and they covered him with sand and talked to him a lot. And here is a picture of Minnie building sandcastles with the children on the lovely beach at Acapulco.
On our last night in Acapulco I told the children that we were going out for dinner and they could buy anything they wanted from the menu. They had a great time making the choice and we all laughed over Billy's selection: turtle steak! I told him it would be tough, but he didn't care and he ate it with great relish, laughing all along. I sampled it and it took several minutes just to chew the one bite, but he remembers that evening to this day. It's a wonderful thing to do: buy the memories and forget them not.
We avoided going into Mexico City because it is so massive and sprawling in all directions and it took so long to get around. But we did go there and it was rewarding. We went to the Museo de Antropologia (Anthropology) which was worth the trip into the city and we also went to the great Aztec pyramid of Teotihuacan and climbed to the highest point they allowed. Here is a beautiful picture of Minnie at the University of Mexico in the suit she made to have on this trip.
In 1964 the principal of the junior high school where I taught in Belmont Shore in Long Beach, California, asked me if I would like to continue my study of Spanish so that I could teach Spanish. They had a shortage of Spanish teachers then and he noticed that my undergraduate transcript included 15 semester hours of Spanish. The U.S. was in the “post-sputnik” era and it was clearly apparent that the U.S. was falling behind in math, science, and foreign languages. So the Congress passed the National Defense Education Act (NDEA) which was designed to train teachers in those three areas.
So I was given the opportunity to study with 60 other teachers “total immersion” Spanish at Pomona College in Claremont, California in the summer of 1964. All of the teaching except for two classes was conducted in Spanish and we were required to live in the dorm during the week but could go home on week-ends. Discussion at meal times and throughout the campus was to be only in Spanish. Our fluency improved a lot and we all learned a lot about linguistics and teaching methodology.
I drove from Lakewood to Claremont with the family on Sunday evenings and then Minnie drove back home with the children. And she came to get me on Friday evenings. I didn’t realize until many years later how difficult this was for her because she never complained. I’ve always driven so much that I never thought anything about it, but she hadn’t and she didn’t like driving and all the traffic made her uneasy. She told me many years later how hard it was for her to drive in the Los Angeles freeway traffic. But she did it anyway just because I needed her help. Of course when she and the children came to get me each Friday afternoon, she was relieved to turn the driving over to me and we all had a happy, animated conversation–and went somewhere special each Friday night. So I was oblivious as to how difficult those weeks were for Minnie.
I began teaching Spanish as well as English and the next summer (1965) we decided to spend three weeks in Saltillo, Mexico (in the mountains near Monterrey) at a language institute. That was an exciting experience for the whole family. We stayed in an apartment and ate our meals with a mother and daughter, both named Esperanza (which means “Hope” in Spanish). The daughter had a little boy Jon’s age named Juanito. The three boys played together and sometimes we went on picnics together.
Here the younger Esperanza had made a birthday cake for Minnie's 28th birthday.
We were assigned an “acompaňante” to help us as an interpreter and guide. Here the children are riding a burro on a “día del campo” (“a day in the country.”)
Jeannine and Billy are in front of the cathedral in Saltillo. Later our artist friend Chuck Wright painted this scene on a large canvas which we kept in our living room for several years.
The next summer (1966) I attended a second level (“overseas”) NDEA Institute in Puebla, Mexico. The 65 teachers in our group lived in the Hotel Colonial and took our meals there and used their facilities for classes. We were also assigned an “acompaňante” to accompany us as an interpreter as we each did a sociological study totally in Spanish. I chose to write on the evangelical churches in Puebla.
The experience was valuable for my teaching of Spanish and by this time the entire family had become very interested in Mexico so I was granted a sabbatical leave from my teaching duties in Long Beach in order to live in Mexico for the spring semester, 1967. Our children and also the junior high school students I taught got excited about the trip and decorated our Volkswagen bus.
That vehicle was not well-suited for the steep mountains of Mexico but it was very good for the children because I was able to turn the middle seat around and put a table beween the seats so that the children could all sit around the table and draw pictures or play games together. This picture is at a roadside park enroute to Texas on the way to Mexico. You'll notice that we're taking Tippy to Minnie's sister's home in El Dorado, Texas. We left her there and when we came home, she had puppies. You'll also notice the little Bible on the table. We had eaten breakfast in the VW bus while we were driving and when we stopped to rest and to give Tippy some water, Minnie read the daily Psalm to all of us. We always considered it an important part of our day to read the Psalms or some other scripture together. It was our spiritual food to go with our physical food.
It was a very long trip all the way to Puebla—80 miles east of Mexico City. Since I had spent the previous summer in Puebla, I was already acquainted with many places and some of the missionaries from Central American Mission and especially with Ed and Lois Oglesby, who had a mission called Ediciones Las Americas. They printed Sunday School materials and sent them all over Latin America. We became lifetime friends and stayed in contact—and we still are. Lois and Minnie corresponded often through the years. I even audited one of the Bible classes in the Central American Mission seminary there. And our children played with the Oglesby children. We often ate lunch at their house, too. And Ed and Lois helped us have a profitable visit in Puebla.
We rented an apartment in a middle class apartment house near some shops and a bakery and a little park. The children had brought their school work and needed to work on it regularly and they did. But the principal of their school thought that this experience of living in a foreign culture was more valuable than what they would have learned if they had stayed at home. And when they were tested when they returned, they all did very well.
I taught English part-time gratis at the University of Puebla. They let me interview many, many students and I selected the 22 students who knew enough English to hold a conversation with me. We met three times a week and, by common consent of the students, every Friday evening we had a little fiesta at different homes represented in the class—including our little apartment.
The children often attended school in the mornings just for the experience and they loved being there and making friends. They were not tested or graded but were just allowed to “be there.” It was a good cultural experience for them.
The children loved to go to the traditional market and we soon learned to buy fresh vegetables and fruits and lots of tortillas and bread. This market was in Puebla near our apartment.
This market was in San Luis Potosi in northern Mexico. Notice the
great variety of beans.
We also ate in inexpensive restaurants often. And everywhere there were many little parks called “plazas” or “zocalos.” The children learned quickly to drink only purified water.
And we went sight-seeing a lot. Sometimes we would take day trips. Other times we would stay overnight in a hotel. We all remember the trip to Oaxaca and all the colorful Indian dress we saw there. Near Oaxaca is the famous ancient pyramid Monte Alban which you see here. We also went to Teotihuacan, the Aztec ruins in Mexico City.
On one of our trips we went to the Isthmus of Tehuantapec, the narrowest part of Mexico and the children played on La Ventosa Beach. When we left, we hung their swimsuits out the van window and they dried in a very few miles.
There were no laundromats in Puebla in those days so Lois invited Minnie to do the weekly family washing at her house. Here is how she described Minnie 44 years later:“Energy personified--that was my description of Minnie. During her "wash day", she would also cook dinner for all 12 of us, bake yeast bread or make donuts, and sometimes tackle mending. With minimal help from us, "little Minnie" (otherwise known as Jeannine) managed the 7 younger children. Occasionally, I would comment to Minnie on her efficiency and she would minimize her abilities and claim she was faster only because she was tall and could reach everything without effort. She was taller than me but still…she was just a high-energy and efficient worker.” [E-mail letter from Lois Oglesby to William Burnside, February 25, 2011)
She was indeed. She knew she had a lot of ability and energy but it didn't make her proud because she knew where they came from! and gave glory and appreciation to God--and then used them so well! One of our favorite verses was 1 Corinthians. 4:7 “For who makes you to differ from another? and what do you have that you have not received? now if you have received it, why do you glory, as if you had not received it?”
The children made friends with a lot of the children in the neighborhood and the shop keepers. I remember a barbecue our whole family was invited to in a neighbor's house and another time Jeannine was invited to a birthday party. Here's a picture taken on that day. There was an older student who came downstairs a bit drunk one night with his guitar to teach me how to play the guitar. I was a totally inept pupil and he didn't succeed in even teaching the first part of lesson one. But he brought a white rabbit and the kids loved that. One of the games of the children in the apartment complex was to go up to the roof above the 5th floor and run and jump from apartment house to apartment house with a straight drop five stories down onto the pavement. And some of our kids would do the same. When Mom discovered what was happening, she immediately put an end to playing on the roof. One helpful part of her personality was that when she said, “No!” with a certain emphatic final tone, none of the children would ever challenge her. (And, yes, I did “back “ her on those rare times when she wanted or needed it.) Looking back on it, our children were exceptionally well-behaved on that whole trip which made a life-long impression on all of them.
One of the sweet friendships Minnie made was with a young beautician named Eloina. We went sight-seeing together and Eloina often was able to show us things we would not have seen without her help. She loved our children and was always very kind to Minnie. One day she came to our apartment to give Minnie a shampoo and cut her hair. But she did not speak English. When Eloina asked Minnie for some soap, “jabon,” Minnie went to the refrigerator to get the deli ham and make her a sandwich because she thought she was asking for “jamon” instead of “jabon.” We all had a good laugh over that one. Eloina decided to open her own beauty shop and she named it El Salon de Belleza Minie because she loved Minnie and thought she was very beautiful. After we returned home, Eloina corresponded with us in Spanish for awhile until she got married and then she wrote that her husband didn't want her to correspond any longer with Americans so we lost contact with her after that. Here is a picture of the bouffant hair style that Eloina did for Minnie.
The silver-mining mountain town of Taxco was one of the favorites for the children. They loved the things made out of silver and especially the pretty concha shells. They made friends quickly even for a brief visit on the way to Acapulco where we spent an entire week mostly on the beach. It was a quiet, peaceful time. The weather was perfect and we all enjoyed it immensely.
We had told Ed and Lois where we going and that I was taking only $100 U.S. Dollars with us and we would come back when that was used up. Ed laughed, “Well, we'll see you tomorrow then!” And when we were gone for an entire week, they began to get worried, but we were gone exactly one week and we spent exactly $100 U.S. Dollars.
We bought bread and rolls and cheese at the panaderia (bakery) and fruits at the traditional market and we found a clean simple place to stay on a hillside overlooking beautiful Acapulco harbor. It only cost $8. a night but after one night I realized the money wouldn't last at that rate so I asked the manager if he had anything “un poco mas barato”--a little cheaper. He took us down a flight of stone stairs and said there was no view from down there but it was clean and we could have it for $3. a night. So we took it as a place to sleep and bathe and we spent our days on the lovely beaches, as you can see from these pictures. Jon made friends with a European nun and two brothers and they covered him with sand and talked to him a lot. And here is a picture of Minnie building sandcastles with the children on the lovely beach at Acapulco.
On our last night in Acapulco I told the children that we were going out for dinner and they could buy anything they wanted from the menu. They had a great time making the choice and we all laughed over Billy's selection: turtle steak! I told him it would be tough, but he didn't care and he ate it with great relish, laughing all along. I sampled it and it took several minutes just to chew the one bite, but he remembers that evening to this day. It's a wonderful thing to do: buy the memories and forget them not.
We avoided going into Mexico City because it is so massive and sprawling in all directions and it took so long to get around. But we did go there and it was rewarding. We went to the Museo de Antropologia (Anthropology) which was worth the trip into the city and we also went to the great Aztec pyramid of Teotihuacan and climbed to the highest point they allowed. Here is a beautiful picture of Minnie at the University of Mexico in the suit she made to have on this trip.
8. Freckles Road 1963-1969
Note: If you want to see the photos that go with this narrative, send me an e-mail at burnsidewm@cox.net and I'll send you a .pdf by e-mail that will include all the pictures (downsized to 500 pixels). Wm.Burnside
Freckles Road: Six Happy Years, 1963-69
Part One: 1963-65
After we brought Jon home from the hospital a few days after New Year’s 1964 we entered a particularly happy time of our lives and began thinking about the future. We lived on Freckles Road, a particularly appropriate name since all of our children had freckles and so did Minnie. I was teaching at a junior high school and also in the General Adult Division of Long Beach City College two evenings a week. And I had just completed my Master’s Degree at Long Beach State College. Jeannine and Billy were in a good neighborhood school within walking distance and Lolly (Cheryl) was soon to start kindergarten.
Minnie began thinking of what she would like to do in the future and of course talked with me about it. I asked her, “What would you really like to do if you had the opportunity?” And she told me what she had said a few years earlier, “I’ve always wanted to be a math teacher.”
“Then do it!” I told her. “How can I with 4 little children?” was her response. “I’ll help you with the children, you can work at it slowly a little at a time, and the Lord will open a way,” I told her.
Long Beach City College was just one mile from our home and they had a program which enabled young mothers to leave their child at an on-campus nursery while the mothers were in class. In exchange the mothers had to give some of their time working in the nursery. So I took Minnie to Long Beach City College and got her registered for two classes and Jon registered for nursery school. A little later we were able to get a second car but at first Minnie and Jon had to walk to the college. Jon was just a little guy and had to take three steps for every one his mother took, so to encourage him in walking that long mile, she would give him a little box of raisins “to give him energy” for the walk. That helped a lot. Here is a picture of Minnie and Jon walking onto the campus of Long Beach City College. This particular day Minnie had our station wagon that you can see in the background. Jon was carrying a heavy book for his Mom.
Our dear next-door-neighbor Maxine worked in the coffee bar so Minnie and Jon would often go there to get coffee and a roll. He explained how I could find them on campus if I ever needed to. “Just go where they sell coffee and you can find Mom,” he told me.
Long Beach City College was a stimulating intellectual and social outlet for Minnie and she enjoyed those years very much. And did very well, of course. She was always on the “Dean’s List” with high grades. Here’s how she described that experience in her journal: “When I decided to return to college, I knew Bill’s support and help would be the key to whether I would succeed. Bill totally supported my efforts and he was willing to take the children camping so I could study, type my papers, give me history lectures while I prepared dinner or help with housework so I could study.” “Since he was already teaching, his experiences helped me avoid some mistakes and to see that many things taught in the education courses were not realistic. He always encouraged me and felt that I would succeed. So my husband was my favorite mentor–and still is!!” J-58
Freckles Road in Lakewood, California, has special memories for all of our family. Both next-door-neighbors became close friends. Maxine and Jim
were especially close to our family. Maxine’s husband had died some years
earlier in a boating accident and Jimmy was her only child. He was 16 when we moved in and was very kind to all of our four little children. They went to the Methodist Church. A couple of years later Maxine married Pat and he, too, was very helpful and friendly with the children. Here is a special coffee time at her house next door.
Our next-door-neighbor on the other side was Mary Nell and Jay and their daughter Mida Ann. Mary Nell was a nurse who worked at the Veterans’ Hospital in Long Beach and was always particularly good with Billy and Jon.
This picture is of Jon's 4th birthday December 26, 1964 and the cake his Mom made for him, as always! Other neighbors were also friendly. The Dermodys had a beautiful avocado tree and didn’t like avocados! So they kept us supplied with all the avocados we could use.
We were only a dozen or so blocks from our best friends, John and Lavonne Brown and their four children who were just about the same age as ours, just a little older. They frequently came to our home and we went to theirs and maintained their friendship through all the years. Many years later when Lavonne died, we went of course to be with the family. I remember that Minnie made them a very big pot of chicken and dumplings which cheered them all.
John and Lavonne went to the same church that we did, Bethany Baptist Church in Long Beach. It was a Conservative Baptist Church and we were members there for most of the time we were in California. At first we
were in the Young Married Class, “The Twigbenders” and later I taught an adult Sunday School Class and Minnie worked in the nursery and was a cradle roll visitor. That was quite an interesting assignment for her. While the other children were in school, she and Jon would go visit young mothers who had brought their children to our nursery at church. She would give them helpful literature and talk to them about any of their problems and pray with them. Jon was always so well-behaved in those visits and Minnie was very proud of him.
She also remembered very well the “Mothers’ Bible Class” one morning a week at church. Some of the older ladies babysat the children so the young mothers could attend an excellent verse-by-verse Bible class, taught by Phyllis Larson. Our children also sang in the childrens’ choir and we particularly remember the Christmas and Easter programs they participated in. Unknown to us then was the fact that the director of the Children’s Choir at Bethany, Sophie Stokke, was the daughter of the founder of Christ’s College in Taipei, James Graham. We had no idea at the time that we would both end up teaching there for three years after we retired.
Each day when the children got home from school, Minnie and Jon, of course, had returned from Long Beach City College and it was a happy time of the day, telling their Mom all the day’s happenings and then playing outside most of the time since southern California has such a mild climate. Minnie always fixed a nice evening meal and we all enjoyed the conversation at the dinner table. We had a simple rule that we would only have pleasant conversation around the table. If there were problems or “issues” to discuss that could be done at an earlier time. After dinner we had the family Bible study time and then the children helped with the dishes and other chores and then played until bed time. In a talk to a lady’s group many years later Minnie told of how significant Bible reading and study always was in our family: “. . . So the pattern from the time I met Bill of our relationship together was very much centered around the Lord.
“And when we had children we discussed this. We said, “OK, we need to have family worship.” Now in the very early days we read the Bible story book. And we sang the little songs like “Jesus Loves Me.” But as they learned to read, then it was the real Bible and we found in our family that as soon as we finished dinner–because we had them all together–and we always sat down and ate our evening meal together, we would have our family worship and those were rich times in our family. The kids memorized scriptures. Oh, we just did lots and lots of things. And that went on until they were gone.” (Verbatim comments in Minnie’s talk on “Worship” at Sequim Bible Church, Sequim, WA October 9, 2003)
So many of our activities centered around our home and neighborhood. But we also frequently invited people for dinner. Minnie was “given to hospitality,” as scripture enjoins and we all enjoyed our frequent guests. Many years later Minnie wrote in her little book, “Breaking Bread Together,” “Involve your children in helping to serve others. When they are old enough to help, let each one know how they can serve the Lord by helping. When a family reaches out to others in hospitality, everyone in the family can be involved. I remember how my children loved to help make plans, arrange the table, make centerpieces and place cards. They also loved hearing and participating in the conversations around the table. Since my husband was a college professor, we had many visiting speakers stay in our home. We learned so much from them.” (pp. 6-7)
Of course we had visitors from our family as well. In 1962 Biggie came to California on the train and brought Pat's daughter Vanessa Kay with her. Of course we all still remember that visit and our trip to Disneyland.
Bob and Bernice and Kenny and Mike came that same summer and we went to the San Diego Zoo with them.
We set aside for vacations the extra money that came in from teaching in the evening so every summer we took vacations in California or went home to Texas so Minnie could see her mother and the rest of her family. Every spring break we went to the zoo in San Diego and in the summers we went to Yosemite, Idylwild, Sequoia, Pacific Grove, and other places. Once we took a boat trip to Catalina Island.
Minnie was a busy mother! She helped with the Cradle Roll visitation and sometimes went with me on our regular church visitation night. She helped in the nursery and taught a pre-school class and she also helped with the City College pre-school. And she was room mother sometimes at the children’s school. And you can see her in this very cute picture as a den mother when Billy was a cub scout. Later in life as an adult he became a leader in the scouts himself.
In the midst of all her activities, Minnie made all of the girls’ clothes and hers, and even some of the boys’ little clothes. And she even made matching wardrobes for the girls’ Barbie dolls! She told me casually one day while she was busily stitching tiny little parts of the doll dresses that it was more work to make the doll clothes than the larger dresses for the girls. But that didn’t keep her from doing it! When I saw how many she was making I made them a little wooden wardrobe and we used tiny little hangars to hang them. We still have a few of the dresses left, handed down through the years.
How did she do all those things? Well, she had an unusual energy and efficiency in all the things she did. She loved the children and her family and enjoyed sewing and cooking and talking with all of us. The Lord had given her an amazing energy and ability and she recognized that it all came from Him. And she responded with diligence and cheerfulness. She not only loved her children, she loved being a mother (and a wife! ^-~). Many years later she wrote, “As a mother, I wanted to take good care of my family. Cooking for them, sewing special outfits and celebrating holidays was a big part of my life.” J-167 And elsewhere she wrote, ““I always loved to prepare family meals and special food they liked. I love being a mother - I also sewed for them -. “ J-103 [Emphasis added.]
Holidays and birthdays were always special and Minnie treated them as such. Of course she always made birthday cakes and here is Valentine’s Day, 1962 when Minnie made me a heart-shaped Valentine’s cake and I bought each of the children a small Valentine’s box of chocolates and Minnie a full-size box. Here is a picture showing that day.
Christmas was our family's favorite holiday especially because of what the birth of Jesus and the incarnation meant to us personally. Minnie did a lot to make it special with the decorations and Christmas baking, especially stollen (German Christmas bread). And she always sewed for Christmas. She made Christmas stockings for everyone in the family and dresses for the girls and vests for the boys. Here in 1962 are the children in the Christmas outfits their mother made for them. The vests were all in red.
Minnie came up with the idea that to encourage the children to read we should keep a little notebook to show what they read and the books we read together. When one of the children had read 100 books she made him or her a special “100-book cake” to celebrate the occasion. Here are Jeannine, Cheryl and Jonathan with their 100 book cakes - they were all just 8 years old! And Timothy with his 250 book cake at 9! And before we left California Jeannine had read 500 books so here is her special celebration in April, 1968.
Billy was born on Jeannine’s first birthday so, of course, they always celebrated their birthdays together. Here is a picture from May 24, 1965, Jeannine’s 8th birthday and Billy’s 7th. Another Happy Birthday celebration 1965 Bill's 32nd birthday—shown on the cake. That's Mary Bailey and David and Susan with her. Notice the happy look on Minnie's face. She always loved doing things special for me or the children.
Jon’s birthday was the day after Christmas so we celebrated his with Lolly’s on July 27th each year. This picture was taken July 27, 1969 after we had already moved to Arkansas.
When we lived on Freckles Road, we got a dog for the children. Minnie wrote about her in her journal: “I never wanted pets, but the children wanted a dog. I remember the day we got Tippy. Jeannine wrapped her in her coat for the ride home. I think all four children were in the very back of the station wagon with Tippy.” Jeannine added, “The day we got Tippy, she curled up on my coat and slept in the car on the way home... I was 6 and remember it clearly.”
“Tippy won me over with her sweet personality and her wagging tail with the white tip on the end. She was a great playmate for our four children—and she was very smart as well. If the children left the gate open, Tippy would wait on the front porch. She never left our property.” J-94 Here is a picture taken in 1969 of Tippy and her puppies with Maxine, Minnie, and Jeannine.
Freckles Road was an unusually friendly neighborhood. When the Helms Bakery truck came down our street, door opened and children came out with their mothers to buy “don-nies” and Minnie always bought rye bread for me and sought to perfect her bread recipe. (More on that later.) The mothers sat on the porch visiting while the children played and ate their “don-nies.”
Here are some small pictures that show the children at play and also how they helped with the chores. The girls are packing lunches for school and Billy and Lolly are painting the back fence. (I think I had just read Tom Sawyer to them in our family daily book reading.)
Billy and Jon reading in the library, May 1966. This was a weekly favorite for all the children.
Minnie often let the children help her in the kitchen and taught them many things about cooking and baking. As adults they all cook and bake in their own homes very often. Here they are decorating Christmas cookies. Holidays were always so much fun and everyone entered into the spirit of the season.
Music. Our whole family loved music and I often played classical music, Christian music, and occasionally ethnic folk music. The children sang in the children's choir at church, but neither Minnie nor I had a singing voice. Here's Jeannine playing her piano. She was quite talented and played for several years for her own enjoyment and for ours. Many years later she had to give it up because of the pressing duties of her family and career. Cheryl played the saxophone. Jon is the only one of the children who pursued a musical career and has owned his own Recording Studio in several places, including Australia. He is largely self-taught as a producer (and won the Australia Aria award!) and is quite proficient on the guitar. When Jeannine retires, I'm sure she will renew her interest in the piano for her own enjoyment and her family's. Her husband does quite well on the mandolin also.
With the mild climate of southern California we often took the children to the park or to the beach, but even more often we had picnics in our own backyard—sometimes for our family and often for friends. The little girl with Lolly was her best friend Leslie.
The back yard was also wonderful for birthday celebrations, especially when we decided to have a pinata for the children. That was always fun and the kids loved it.
Special time outs once a month. One of the favorite family activities was for Minnie and me to take one child once a month out to dinner at a very nice restaurant. (We had a 2-for-1 restaurant book that made the cost reasonable.) The child whose turn it was could choose which restaurant (in the book) to go to. They enjoyed the food and the special attention and we enjoyed the relaxed quiet time together and talked a lot with the children.
The three left at home looked forward to that time as well because either Marcella or Kathy Brown babysat and we always had special treats for them and they loved playing with the girls.
Jeannine remembers the time outs very well, “the fun of being the only kid to be dressing up along with Mom and Dad, and getting to choose the place. I remember choosing the Reuben E Lee (a sea food restaurant on a boat in the harbor at Newport Beach. I loved being on the water and especially their clam chowder soup. I remember one rare occasion when Jonathan and I combined our time-outs because we both wanted to go to the Reuben E Lee and we thought it would be fun to go together. It was.”
Beginning in about 1966 or 1967 Minnie did "after school care" for Jeannine's best friend, Mary Bennett. Minnie and Doris, Mary's mom, became very good friends, and Mary became our "5th child," as Minnie called her. When we moved to Arkansas in 1969, Mary flew out several summers during Junior and Senior High School to visit for a month at a time, bringing her gold fish and sewing machine so that she and Jeannine could make their school clothes and work on them at the same time. She ended up going to JBU and being both Cheryl and Jeannine's roommate, and now she lives in Denver and she and Jeannine are still very close.
She and her husband adopted two sweet little Chinese girls as babies and brought them up in Colorado. Here is a picture of Mary and Jeannine when they were students at JBU in 1977. The other picture is of her two daughters, Allison and Lauren with Papaw Christmas season 2010.
Perspective. The six years on Freckles Road were good years and a time of special happiness for all six of us. You can see it in the faces of the children and they way they enjoyed life. You can also see it in the pictures of Minnie, like this one, taken in 1964, age 27.
1965 was our 10th Anniversary year so here is our anniversary picture and the picture of the children God blessed us with during those first ten years of marriage.
Family picture taken on our 10th Anniversary 1965 Ages 4,6,7,8, > 28,32
Minnie was happy all her life in spite of many hardships and difficulties. She was cheerful and content and enthusiastic and worked hard all her life. Whatever the challenge was she sought to deal with it with a willing heart and a cheerful spirit. After our various discussions in 1963 when she sought to persuade me that it was a mistake to move to Dallas with the responsibility of the four small children and the disruption of their lives from what it had always been with their mother taking care of them, she obviously didn't want to find a job and work and leave them in a day-care center. But when I was determined to make the move “for one year” she tried to put the best face on things and be cheerful at least for the sake of the children. And when I put it to the test and through an inner struggle of my own finally realized that it was a mistake, I then tried to put life back together somewhat as it had been before the move. And God in His providence enabled me to return to my same position in the Long Beach School District—except that it was a better place to work since I began teaching in Belmont Shore with a higher I.Q. student body that was more motivated to work and learn. And I was also able to resume my part-time teaching in the Adult Division of Long Beach City College.
So it helps our perspective to realize that it was when we returned from my mistaken brief pilgrimage to Dallas that we moved to Freckles Road. We bought the house but it took God’s compassion for us and the compassion and trust of the real estate agent who sold it to us to take a promissory note for her commission that enabled us to buy the property. And it was compassion for my wife and four children that brought us back on track when I realized how unnecessarily difficult I was making life for her and for them. Not that I loved them more than the Lord, but that I loved them more than just thinking about myself and what I wanted to do. You can imagine how it affects me to read the words of my wife, written 44 years later in
her journal in response to a question of who she thinks of when she thinks of compassion. She wrote, “My dear husband, Bill! Sometimes I think our Lord would describe him in the same way he described David, 'A man after my heart.'--” “From the time I met Bill when I was 18 years old, I have been pleased with his deep desire to serve the Lord. Being into God's word daily is as important to him as eating the good meals I prepare for him.” “I have seen his heart of compassion with his children, grandchildren and great
grandchildren as with scores of his students and other people God has brought into our lives.” “The Bible says that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, so Bill would be first to say that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord.” J-112
You can understand how strongly that motivates me to live up to her expectations as well as to the Lord's. Suffice it to say that the Lord enabled me to re-trace my steps after a mistaken decision. It is seldom that one is able to do that. Usually you have to live with your decisions, the bad ones as well as the good ones. And the Lord brought a lot of happiness into those six years on Freckles Road and gave me an adult Sunday School class to teach and a lot of good friends for us to have as a couple.
Minnie was already very hospitable but it was during those years she was able to use and develop those gifts even more. She wrote about it like this:
“Inviting people over for a meal was a great way to get to know and enjoy people. Our children liked having guests – and they entered into the occasions.”
“We also had small group home Bible studies from time to time.”
“Another thing we would do was invite friends for an evening of bridge. We would try to have 3 tables and that was fun.” J-108 It was fun, but we also knew that we always build into each other's lives, “life-to-life and as we got to know other people and shared in their lives, we ended up talking about what was important to us—just as everyone does. What was “important to us” was our relationship to the Lord, our eternal destiny which is decided by whether we have trusted Christ as Savior or not; what the Scripture teaches us as to “how then should we live?” And how a Biblical world-and-life-view deals with and meets the problems of life. Those and our children were the most important things in life to us so those are the things we talked about whether we were having a dinner together or playing bridge or going for a walk with other people.
Minnie was so hospitable that her Bible professor many years later told her that he was sure that one of her main “spiritual gifts” from God was the “gift of hospitality.” Many, many people who have known her would agree. Many years later in her little book, “Breaking Bread Together,” she wrote these words about how we are to be “given to hospitality.” She quoted Galatians 6:10 “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”
And she remembered the words of the Lord Jesus, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:40 “From my mother,” she wrote, “I learned that God wanted us to be hospitable. She always talked about the fact that what we did for others was like doing it for Jesus. As I grew up, it was natural to want to fix meals for people, so this is a great heritage and something I want to pass along to my children and grandchildren.” . . .
“The greeting at the door is important. You are inviting someone to enter your home. Friends may be from the work place, your church, or total strangers such as visiting speakers or missionaries, first-time visitors at church, children's friends, or relatives. As you open the door, make the greeting warm and friendly. As you close the door, in a sense you are closing out the outside world—problems and all—and now you want to share your life with your guests.”
“We show hospitality in different ways and for different reasons. Sometimes we are hospitable to meet needs in someone's life. For example, someone who wants to attend a conference but cannot afford the hotel and food cost. Could you host them?”
“A family member needs to be near a hospital when someone is sick or injured. When one of the students at JBU was in a serious car accident, her parents stayed with us for 6 weeks so they could visit her everyday in the hospital.”
“Missionaries traveling to visit churches might need a few days of rest.” Every example she gave in those paragraphs comes exactly out of our lives. We've done them all.
“Unexpected visitors can be good training for your children. Mine learned to prepare their room for guests in a hurry and to be willing to sleep in sleeping bags in the living room or in Dad's study. We never had a guest room but we had many house guests. 'Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained
angels unawares.' Hebrews 13:1-2”
Minnie gave several suggestions that we used to encourage dinner conversation, especially if everyone was already a Christian or a “seeker.” When I invited people from our Sunday School class for dinner, she wrote, “After dinner we asked each person to share how he/she came to know the Lord and if there was any special concern he or she would like to
mention. Those were very good times of fellowship and we all got to know each other much better.” “Other times we simply ask people to tell us something about themselves or anything else that was on their mind. A lot of very good discussions followed.” (“Breaking Bread Together,” pages 5-9)
She's talking about an important part of our “way of life” or “life style,” not only on Freckles Road, but everywhere we lived. After all, we are to be “given to hospitality.” And when I have been describing those “happy years” on Freckles Road, that is not to say that there weren’t troubles and trials during that time and everywhere else we lived. That’s the stuff life is made of. Jesus promised it: “In the world you shall have tribulation,” He told the disciples and us, “but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” And He overcomes our problems, too. Look to Him for the wisdom and strength you need to face life's many problems and suffering. We were already living on Freckles Road when Jon almost died of
salmonella during that very, very difficult “Christmas holiday” period of 1963.
Tell you another story about Minnie and God’s provision at that time. Once the fever broke and a turn-around came and Jon began improving in the hospital, we did not know how much longer he would need to stay there. And it was almost time for me to return to my teaching assignment. But we only had one car at the time–that station wagon you saw in the picture of Jon and Minnie going to City College in 1964.
Problem! Minnie didn’t know how to drive and she didn’t have a driver’s license! How was she going to get to the hospital to see Jon while I was at work? If she took me to school (or if I found a fellow teacher to pick me up at home and take me home) she could have the car to go see Jon while the children were at school. It turned out that he went home the Friday before I returned to work on Monday, but we didn't know that was what was going to
happen. So Minnie practiced her driving some more and we made plans for her to take her driving test at the one driver's license location that did not require parallel parking because she had never been able to master that skill.
Well, we got to the testing location and took the number to wait our turn and sat there observing others taking the driving test when, to our dismay, we noticed that they were all having to parallel park, just the same as at the other locations. We had a few minutes left to wait, so I quickly sketched and explained to Minnie how she must park the car. And it was more difficult because it was our long Ford station wagon. She knew a lot was riding on whether she could get her license or not and we prayed about it together. When the examiner came, of course I had to leave the car and I watched from the sidewalk. The first thing he required her to do was parallel park between two poles in the examining area. I watched as she pulled up to just exactly the right spot and then very slowly and carefully backed the station wagon into the right spot and straightened it out. After that everything else in the test went very smoothly. And ever after she either never tried or never was able to parallel park again! One exception: I do remember one time many years later she actually did parallel park and was laughing with me when she came home to tell me.
That “test” was just another good example of God helping us meet the tests of life—small as well as large.
Freckles Road: Six Happy Years, 1963-69
Part One: 1963-65
After we brought Jon home from the hospital a few days after New Year’s 1964 we entered a particularly happy time of our lives and began thinking about the future. We lived on Freckles Road, a particularly appropriate name since all of our children had freckles and so did Minnie. I was teaching at a junior high school and also in the General Adult Division of Long Beach City College two evenings a week. And I had just completed my Master’s Degree at Long Beach State College. Jeannine and Billy were in a good neighborhood school within walking distance and Lolly (Cheryl) was soon to start kindergarten.
Minnie began thinking of what she would like to do in the future and of course talked with me about it. I asked her, “What would you really like to do if you had the opportunity?” And she told me what she had said a few years earlier, “I’ve always wanted to be a math teacher.”
“Then do it!” I told her. “How can I with 4 little children?” was her response. “I’ll help you with the children, you can work at it slowly a little at a time, and the Lord will open a way,” I told her.
Long Beach City College was just one mile from our home and they had a program which enabled young mothers to leave their child at an on-campus nursery while the mothers were in class. In exchange the mothers had to give some of their time working in the nursery. So I took Minnie to Long Beach City College and got her registered for two classes and Jon registered for nursery school. A little later we were able to get a second car but at first Minnie and Jon had to walk to the college. Jon was just a little guy and had to take three steps for every one his mother took, so to encourage him in walking that long mile, she would give him a little box of raisins “to give him energy” for the walk. That helped a lot. Here is a picture of Minnie and Jon walking onto the campus of Long Beach City College. This particular day Minnie had our station wagon that you can see in the background. Jon was carrying a heavy book for his Mom.
Our dear next-door-neighbor Maxine worked in the coffee bar so Minnie and Jon would often go there to get coffee and a roll. He explained how I could find them on campus if I ever needed to. “Just go where they sell coffee and you can find Mom,” he told me.
Long Beach City College was a stimulating intellectual and social outlet for Minnie and she enjoyed those years very much. And did very well, of course. She was always on the “Dean’s List” with high grades. Here’s how she described that experience in her journal: “When I decided to return to college, I knew Bill’s support and help would be the key to whether I would succeed. Bill totally supported my efforts and he was willing to take the children camping so I could study, type my papers, give me history lectures while I prepared dinner or help with housework so I could study.” “Since he was already teaching, his experiences helped me avoid some mistakes and to see that many things taught in the education courses were not realistic. He always encouraged me and felt that I would succeed. So my husband was my favorite mentor–and still is!!” J-58
Freckles Road in Lakewood, California, has special memories for all of our family. Both next-door-neighbors became close friends. Maxine and Jim
were especially close to our family. Maxine’s husband had died some years
earlier in a boating accident and Jimmy was her only child. He was 16 when we moved in and was very kind to all of our four little children. They went to the Methodist Church. A couple of years later Maxine married Pat and he, too, was very helpful and friendly with the children. Here is a special coffee time at her house next door.
Our next-door-neighbor on the other side was Mary Nell and Jay and their daughter Mida Ann. Mary Nell was a nurse who worked at the Veterans’ Hospital in Long Beach and was always particularly good with Billy and Jon.
This picture is of Jon's 4th birthday December 26, 1964 and the cake his Mom made for him, as always! Other neighbors were also friendly. The Dermodys had a beautiful avocado tree and didn’t like avocados! So they kept us supplied with all the avocados we could use.
We were only a dozen or so blocks from our best friends, John and Lavonne Brown and their four children who were just about the same age as ours, just a little older. They frequently came to our home and we went to theirs and maintained their friendship through all the years. Many years later when Lavonne died, we went of course to be with the family. I remember that Minnie made them a very big pot of chicken and dumplings which cheered them all.
John and Lavonne went to the same church that we did, Bethany Baptist Church in Long Beach. It was a Conservative Baptist Church and we were members there for most of the time we were in California. At first we
were in the Young Married Class, “The Twigbenders” and later I taught an adult Sunday School Class and Minnie worked in the nursery and was a cradle roll visitor. That was quite an interesting assignment for her. While the other children were in school, she and Jon would go visit young mothers who had brought their children to our nursery at church. She would give them helpful literature and talk to them about any of their problems and pray with them. Jon was always so well-behaved in those visits and Minnie was very proud of him.
She also remembered very well the “Mothers’ Bible Class” one morning a week at church. Some of the older ladies babysat the children so the young mothers could attend an excellent verse-by-verse Bible class, taught by Phyllis Larson. Our children also sang in the childrens’ choir and we particularly remember the Christmas and Easter programs they participated in. Unknown to us then was the fact that the director of the Children’s Choir at Bethany, Sophie Stokke, was the daughter of the founder of Christ’s College in Taipei, James Graham. We had no idea at the time that we would both end up teaching there for three years after we retired.
Each day when the children got home from school, Minnie and Jon, of course, had returned from Long Beach City College and it was a happy time of the day, telling their Mom all the day’s happenings and then playing outside most of the time since southern California has such a mild climate. Minnie always fixed a nice evening meal and we all enjoyed the conversation at the dinner table. We had a simple rule that we would only have pleasant conversation around the table. If there were problems or “issues” to discuss that could be done at an earlier time. After dinner we had the family Bible study time and then the children helped with the dishes and other chores and then played until bed time. In a talk to a lady’s group many years later Minnie told of how significant Bible reading and study always was in our family: “. . . So the pattern from the time I met Bill of our relationship together was very much centered around the Lord.
“And when we had children we discussed this. We said, “OK, we need to have family worship.” Now in the very early days we read the Bible story book. And we sang the little songs like “Jesus Loves Me.” But as they learned to read, then it was the real Bible and we found in our family that as soon as we finished dinner–because we had them all together–and we always sat down and ate our evening meal together, we would have our family worship and those were rich times in our family. The kids memorized scriptures. Oh, we just did lots and lots of things. And that went on until they were gone.” (Verbatim comments in Minnie’s talk on “Worship” at Sequim Bible Church, Sequim, WA October 9, 2003)
So many of our activities centered around our home and neighborhood. But we also frequently invited people for dinner. Minnie was “given to hospitality,” as scripture enjoins and we all enjoyed our frequent guests. Many years later Minnie wrote in her little book, “Breaking Bread Together,” “Involve your children in helping to serve others. When they are old enough to help, let each one know how they can serve the Lord by helping. When a family reaches out to others in hospitality, everyone in the family can be involved. I remember how my children loved to help make plans, arrange the table, make centerpieces and place cards. They also loved hearing and participating in the conversations around the table. Since my husband was a college professor, we had many visiting speakers stay in our home. We learned so much from them.” (pp. 6-7)
Of course we had visitors from our family as well. In 1962 Biggie came to California on the train and brought Pat's daughter Vanessa Kay with her. Of course we all still remember that visit and our trip to Disneyland.
Bob and Bernice and Kenny and Mike came that same summer and we went to the San Diego Zoo with them.
We set aside for vacations the extra money that came in from teaching in the evening so every summer we took vacations in California or went home to Texas so Minnie could see her mother and the rest of her family. Every spring break we went to the zoo in San Diego and in the summers we went to Yosemite, Idylwild, Sequoia, Pacific Grove, and other places. Once we took a boat trip to Catalina Island.
Minnie was a busy mother! She helped with the Cradle Roll visitation and sometimes went with me on our regular church visitation night. She helped in the nursery and taught a pre-school class and she also helped with the City College pre-school. And she was room mother sometimes at the children’s school. And you can see her in this very cute picture as a den mother when Billy was a cub scout. Later in life as an adult he became a leader in the scouts himself.
In the midst of all her activities, Minnie made all of the girls’ clothes and hers, and even some of the boys’ little clothes. And she even made matching wardrobes for the girls’ Barbie dolls! She told me casually one day while she was busily stitching tiny little parts of the doll dresses that it was more work to make the doll clothes than the larger dresses for the girls. But that didn’t keep her from doing it! When I saw how many she was making I made them a little wooden wardrobe and we used tiny little hangars to hang them. We still have a few of the dresses left, handed down through the years.
How did she do all those things? Well, she had an unusual energy and efficiency in all the things she did. She loved the children and her family and enjoyed sewing and cooking and talking with all of us. The Lord had given her an amazing energy and ability and she recognized that it all came from Him. And she responded with diligence and cheerfulness. She not only loved her children, she loved being a mother (and a wife! ^-~). Many years later she wrote, “As a mother, I wanted to take good care of my family. Cooking for them, sewing special outfits and celebrating holidays was a big part of my life.” J-167 And elsewhere she wrote, ““I always loved to prepare family meals and special food they liked. I love being a mother - I also sewed for them -. “ J-103 [Emphasis added.]
Holidays and birthdays were always special and Minnie treated them as such. Of course she always made birthday cakes and here is Valentine’s Day, 1962 when Minnie made me a heart-shaped Valentine’s cake and I bought each of the children a small Valentine’s box of chocolates and Minnie a full-size box. Here is a picture showing that day.
Christmas was our family's favorite holiday especially because of what the birth of Jesus and the incarnation meant to us personally. Minnie did a lot to make it special with the decorations and Christmas baking, especially stollen (German Christmas bread). And she always sewed for Christmas. She made Christmas stockings for everyone in the family and dresses for the girls and vests for the boys. Here in 1962 are the children in the Christmas outfits their mother made for them. The vests were all in red.
Minnie came up with the idea that to encourage the children to read we should keep a little notebook to show what they read and the books we read together. When one of the children had read 100 books she made him or her a special “100-book cake” to celebrate the occasion. Here are Jeannine, Cheryl and Jonathan with their 100 book cakes - they were all just 8 years old! And Timothy with his 250 book cake at 9! And before we left California Jeannine had read 500 books so here is her special celebration in April, 1968.
Billy was born on Jeannine’s first birthday so, of course, they always celebrated their birthdays together. Here is a picture from May 24, 1965, Jeannine’s 8th birthday and Billy’s 7th. Another Happy Birthday celebration 1965 Bill's 32nd birthday—shown on the cake. That's Mary Bailey and David and Susan with her. Notice the happy look on Minnie's face. She always loved doing things special for me or the children.
Jon’s birthday was the day after Christmas so we celebrated his with Lolly’s on July 27th each year. This picture was taken July 27, 1969 after we had already moved to Arkansas.
When we lived on Freckles Road, we got a dog for the children. Minnie wrote about her in her journal: “I never wanted pets, but the children wanted a dog. I remember the day we got Tippy. Jeannine wrapped her in her coat for the ride home. I think all four children were in the very back of the station wagon with Tippy.” Jeannine added, “The day we got Tippy, she curled up on my coat and slept in the car on the way home... I was 6 and remember it clearly.”
“Tippy won me over with her sweet personality and her wagging tail with the white tip on the end. She was a great playmate for our four children—and she was very smart as well. If the children left the gate open, Tippy would wait on the front porch. She never left our property.” J-94 Here is a picture taken in 1969 of Tippy and her puppies with Maxine, Minnie, and Jeannine.
Freckles Road was an unusually friendly neighborhood. When the Helms Bakery truck came down our street, door opened and children came out with their mothers to buy “don-nies” and Minnie always bought rye bread for me and sought to perfect her bread recipe. (More on that later.) The mothers sat on the porch visiting while the children played and ate their “don-nies.”
Here are some small pictures that show the children at play and also how they helped with the chores. The girls are packing lunches for school and Billy and Lolly are painting the back fence. (I think I had just read Tom Sawyer to them in our family daily book reading.)
Billy and Jon reading in the library, May 1966. This was a weekly favorite for all the children.
Minnie often let the children help her in the kitchen and taught them many things about cooking and baking. As adults they all cook and bake in their own homes very often. Here they are decorating Christmas cookies. Holidays were always so much fun and everyone entered into the spirit of the season.
Music. Our whole family loved music and I often played classical music, Christian music, and occasionally ethnic folk music. The children sang in the children's choir at church, but neither Minnie nor I had a singing voice. Here's Jeannine playing her piano. She was quite talented and played for several years for her own enjoyment and for ours. Many years later she had to give it up because of the pressing duties of her family and career. Cheryl played the saxophone. Jon is the only one of the children who pursued a musical career and has owned his own Recording Studio in several places, including Australia. He is largely self-taught as a producer (and won the Australia Aria award!) and is quite proficient on the guitar. When Jeannine retires, I'm sure she will renew her interest in the piano for her own enjoyment and her family's. Her husband does quite well on the mandolin also.
With the mild climate of southern California we often took the children to the park or to the beach, but even more often we had picnics in our own backyard—sometimes for our family and often for friends. The little girl with Lolly was her best friend Leslie.
The back yard was also wonderful for birthday celebrations, especially when we decided to have a pinata for the children. That was always fun and the kids loved it.
Special time outs once a month. One of the favorite family activities was for Minnie and me to take one child once a month out to dinner at a very nice restaurant. (We had a 2-for-1 restaurant book that made the cost reasonable.) The child whose turn it was could choose which restaurant (in the book) to go to. They enjoyed the food and the special attention and we enjoyed the relaxed quiet time together and talked a lot with the children.
The three left at home looked forward to that time as well because either Marcella or Kathy Brown babysat and we always had special treats for them and they loved playing with the girls.
Jeannine remembers the time outs very well, “the fun of being the only kid to be dressing up along with Mom and Dad, and getting to choose the place. I remember choosing the Reuben E Lee (a sea food restaurant on a boat in the harbor at Newport Beach. I loved being on the water and especially their clam chowder soup. I remember one rare occasion when Jonathan and I combined our time-outs because we both wanted to go to the Reuben E Lee and we thought it would be fun to go together. It was.”
Beginning in about 1966 or 1967 Minnie did "after school care" for Jeannine's best friend, Mary Bennett. Minnie and Doris, Mary's mom, became very good friends, and Mary became our "5th child," as Minnie called her. When we moved to Arkansas in 1969, Mary flew out several summers during Junior and Senior High School to visit for a month at a time, bringing her gold fish and sewing machine so that she and Jeannine could make their school clothes and work on them at the same time. She ended up going to JBU and being both Cheryl and Jeannine's roommate, and now she lives in Denver and she and Jeannine are still very close.
She and her husband adopted two sweet little Chinese girls as babies and brought them up in Colorado. Here is a picture of Mary and Jeannine when they were students at JBU in 1977. The other picture is of her two daughters, Allison and Lauren with Papaw Christmas season 2010.
Perspective. The six years on Freckles Road were good years and a time of special happiness for all six of us. You can see it in the faces of the children and they way they enjoyed life. You can also see it in the pictures of Minnie, like this one, taken in 1964, age 27.
1965 was our 10th Anniversary year so here is our anniversary picture and the picture of the children God blessed us with during those first ten years of marriage.
Family picture taken on our 10th Anniversary 1965 Ages 4,6,7,8, > 28,32
Minnie was happy all her life in spite of many hardships and difficulties. She was cheerful and content and enthusiastic and worked hard all her life. Whatever the challenge was she sought to deal with it with a willing heart and a cheerful spirit. After our various discussions in 1963 when she sought to persuade me that it was a mistake to move to Dallas with the responsibility of the four small children and the disruption of their lives from what it had always been with their mother taking care of them, she obviously didn't want to find a job and work and leave them in a day-care center. But when I was determined to make the move “for one year” she tried to put the best face on things and be cheerful at least for the sake of the children. And when I put it to the test and through an inner struggle of my own finally realized that it was a mistake, I then tried to put life back together somewhat as it had been before the move. And God in His providence enabled me to return to my same position in the Long Beach School District—except that it was a better place to work since I began teaching in Belmont Shore with a higher I.Q. student body that was more motivated to work and learn. And I was also able to resume my part-time teaching in the Adult Division of Long Beach City College.
So it helps our perspective to realize that it was when we returned from my mistaken brief pilgrimage to Dallas that we moved to Freckles Road. We bought the house but it took God’s compassion for us and the compassion and trust of the real estate agent who sold it to us to take a promissory note for her commission that enabled us to buy the property. And it was compassion for my wife and four children that brought us back on track when I realized how unnecessarily difficult I was making life for her and for them. Not that I loved them more than the Lord, but that I loved them more than just thinking about myself and what I wanted to do. You can imagine how it affects me to read the words of my wife, written 44 years later in
her journal in response to a question of who she thinks of when she thinks of compassion. She wrote, “My dear husband, Bill! Sometimes I think our Lord would describe him in the same way he described David, 'A man after my heart.'--” “From the time I met Bill when I was 18 years old, I have been pleased with his deep desire to serve the Lord. Being into God's word daily is as important to him as eating the good meals I prepare for him.” “I have seen his heart of compassion with his children, grandchildren and great
grandchildren as with scores of his students and other people God has brought into our lives.” “The Bible says that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, so Bill would be first to say that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord.” J-112
You can understand how strongly that motivates me to live up to her expectations as well as to the Lord's. Suffice it to say that the Lord enabled me to re-trace my steps after a mistaken decision. It is seldom that one is able to do that. Usually you have to live with your decisions, the bad ones as well as the good ones. And the Lord brought a lot of happiness into those six years on Freckles Road and gave me an adult Sunday School class to teach and a lot of good friends for us to have as a couple.
Minnie was already very hospitable but it was during those years she was able to use and develop those gifts even more. She wrote about it like this:
“Inviting people over for a meal was a great way to get to know and enjoy people. Our children liked having guests – and they entered into the occasions.”
“We also had small group home Bible studies from time to time.”
“Another thing we would do was invite friends for an evening of bridge. We would try to have 3 tables and that was fun.” J-108 It was fun, but we also knew that we always build into each other's lives, “life-to-life and as we got to know other people and shared in their lives, we ended up talking about what was important to us—just as everyone does. What was “important to us” was our relationship to the Lord, our eternal destiny which is decided by whether we have trusted Christ as Savior or not; what the Scripture teaches us as to “how then should we live?” And how a Biblical world-and-life-view deals with and meets the problems of life. Those and our children were the most important things in life to us so those are the things we talked about whether we were having a dinner together or playing bridge or going for a walk with other people.
Minnie was so hospitable that her Bible professor many years later told her that he was sure that one of her main “spiritual gifts” from God was the “gift of hospitality.” Many, many people who have known her would agree. Many years later in her little book, “Breaking Bread Together,” she wrote these words about how we are to be “given to hospitality.” She quoted Galatians 6:10 “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”
And she remembered the words of the Lord Jesus, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:40 “From my mother,” she wrote, “I learned that God wanted us to be hospitable. She always talked about the fact that what we did for others was like doing it for Jesus. As I grew up, it was natural to want to fix meals for people, so this is a great heritage and something I want to pass along to my children and grandchildren.” . . .
“The greeting at the door is important. You are inviting someone to enter your home. Friends may be from the work place, your church, or total strangers such as visiting speakers or missionaries, first-time visitors at church, children's friends, or relatives. As you open the door, make the greeting warm and friendly. As you close the door, in a sense you are closing out the outside world—problems and all—and now you want to share your life with your guests.”
“We show hospitality in different ways and for different reasons. Sometimes we are hospitable to meet needs in someone's life. For example, someone who wants to attend a conference but cannot afford the hotel and food cost. Could you host them?”
“A family member needs to be near a hospital when someone is sick or injured. When one of the students at JBU was in a serious car accident, her parents stayed with us for 6 weeks so they could visit her everyday in the hospital.”
“Missionaries traveling to visit churches might need a few days of rest.” Every example she gave in those paragraphs comes exactly out of our lives. We've done them all.
“Unexpected visitors can be good training for your children. Mine learned to prepare their room for guests in a hurry and to be willing to sleep in sleeping bags in the living room or in Dad's study. We never had a guest room but we had many house guests. 'Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained
angels unawares.' Hebrews 13:1-2”
Minnie gave several suggestions that we used to encourage dinner conversation, especially if everyone was already a Christian or a “seeker.” When I invited people from our Sunday School class for dinner, she wrote, “After dinner we asked each person to share how he/she came to know the Lord and if there was any special concern he or she would like to
mention. Those were very good times of fellowship and we all got to know each other much better.” “Other times we simply ask people to tell us something about themselves or anything else that was on their mind. A lot of very good discussions followed.” (“Breaking Bread Together,” pages 5-9)
She's talking about an important part of our “way of life” or “life style,” not only on Freckles Road, but everywhere we lived. After all, we are to be “given to hospitality.” And when I have been describing those “happy years” on Freckles Road, that is not to say that there weren’t troubles and trials during that time and everywhere else we lived. That’s the stuff life is made of. Jesus promised it: “In the world you shall have tribulation,” He told the disciples and us, “but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” And He overcomes our problems, too. Look to Him for the wisdom and strength you need to face life's many problems and suffering. We were already living on Freckles Road when Jon almost died of
salmonella during that very, very difficult “Christmas holiday” period of 1963.
Tell you another story about Minnie and God’s provision at that time. Once the fever broke and a turn-around came and Jon began improving in the hospital, we did not know how much longer he would need to stay there. And it was almost time for me to return to my teaching assignment. But we only had one car at the time–that station wagon you saw in the picture of Jon and Minnie going to City College in 1964.
Problem! Minnie didn’t know how to drive and she didn’t have a driver’s license! How was she going to get to the hospital to see Jon while I was at work? If she took me to school (or if I found a fellow teacher to pick me up at home and take me home) she could have the car to go see Jon while the children were at school. It turned out that he went home the Friday before I returned to work on Monday, but we didn't know that was what was going to
happen. So Minnie practiced her driving some more and we made plans for her to take her driving test at the one driver's license location that did not require parallel parking because she had never been able to master that skill.
Well, we got to the testing location and took the number to wait our turn and sat there observing others taking the driving test when, to our dismay, we noticed that they were all having to parallel park, just the same as at the other locations. We had a few minutes left to wait, so I quickly sketched and explained to Minnie how she must park the car. And it was more difficult because it was our long Ford station wagon. She knew a lot was riding on whether she could get her license or not and we prayed about it together. When the examiner came, of course I had to leave the car and I watched from the sidewalk. The first thing he required her to do was parallel park between two poles in the examining area. I watched as she pulled up to just exactly the right spot and then very slowly and carefully backed the station wagon into the right spot and straightened it out. After that everything else in the test went very smoothly. And ever after she either never tried or never was able to parallel park again! One exception: I do remember one time many years later she actually did parallel park and was laughing with me when she came home to tell me.
That “test” was just another good example of God helping us meet the tests of life—small as well as large.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Discouragement Defeated
Discouragement Defeated
One of the most devastating weapons in Satan’s repertoire of devices is discouragement and I see it in many places. Discouragement is destructive to the individual person, to a church, to a nation, to a family. And scripture has a lot to say about it and how to combat it. But we also need to see those principles demonstrated and lived out in life. It’s one thing to know that we are to “rejoice in the Lord always” and it’s another thing to do it. We can know that we are to be “anxious for nothing,” but what about our daily living?
How woefully inadequate is the world’s “solution” of “singin’ in the rain!” That just doesn’t get it when you’re faced with the devastation we see in the world and the deep problems of some families and the demoralization of people when they are “defeated” and have lost the motivation to carry on.
Where do we see the right attitude and actions demonstrated for us? Well, of course, we see them in Jesus. And we had better look there and keep our eyes focused on Him. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus . . . who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame. . . .” Heb. 12:2 NIV And knowing that He is now at the right hand of the majesty on high, it’s easy to “set our minds and our hearts on things above and not on things of this earth.” Colossians 3
It is also very helpful to see people actually doing that as they face the devastating traumas of life. Yesterday I was gathering material for the last few chapters of “Mimi’s Journey.” (I’ve written the first 10 chapters and I’m skipping the middle section until I’ve finished the end section.) And I came across three e-mails that Minnie wrote shortly after we had just received the most devastating news of our lives, that after all that Minnie had gone through, including the Whipple surgery and six months of chemo, the pancreatic cancer had returned. I wrote to everyone on January 23, 2009, 10:15 PM, “The News is Not Good Tonight” in one of the biggest understatements I ever made in my life.
But how did Minnie react? How did she demonstrate in her own life, in her attitude and actions that God’s sustaining grace was sufficient for this greatest trauma of her life? On January 30, 2009 she wrote to family and friends:
“. . . We continue to feel that the Lord is giving us strength and grace for each day. I want to enjoy every day that He gives me--whether they be few or many. He has been so faithful to me all my life--and that will not change. And he has blessed me with such wonderful friends all over the world. Thank you for praying. Love, Minnie”
And on that same day she revealed a lot that was on her mind when she wrote to her nurse friend:
“. . . Oh my, Sue, this all gets very tiring and I find my refuge in the Lord. When I wake up in the night, He gives me verses--like at what time I am afraid, I will trust in the Lord--and that the Way of the Lord is perfect. I know all these things in my head and I keep praying that the Lord will continue to make them a living reality in my life--and He is being so very faithful to do that. I know that many people are praying for me as I feel so very weak at times--but still strong physically--until about 2 p.m. each day, then I am resting in my recliner.”
She was also resting in the Lord as we all saw in her life. One of her favorite verses was Psalm 37:7 “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him. . . .”
Two days earlier Minnie had written to our oldest daughter Jeannine, “I woke up this morning and the 23rd Psalm was what the Lord brought to my mind as well as the passage in John where Jesus told the disciples he was going away and would come back for them and Thomas asked, how can we go, we don't know the way and he said I WILL COME for you. What a beautiful promise from the Lord. How thankful I am that He gave us His word and that He is the God of all comfort. . . .”
So what Bibical principles was Minnie demonstrating that will help any of us who are dealing with discouragement or depression?
1. “The Word! the Word! the Promises!” is what she told a woman’s group with great feeling. She knew how important reading the scriptures and believing what she read was in her life. We read the Psalms together almost every morning for 54 years. And in the evening I read from the New Testament to her right before she went to sleep at night. God meets with us in His Word. Find your strength in the Lord as you read what He wrote. And quote the scriptures to yourself (or to the Tempter) when you’re struggling with a problem.
2. She had a thankful spirit, rejoicing in the Lord. This is of major importance!
3. She had a favorite verse she lived by, reciting it every day, “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!” And she was glad and she lived her life one day-at-a-time, not worrying about tomorrow.
4. That’s why she always sought to enjoy whatever came to her from the good hand of our God that very day. “I want to enjoy every day that He gives me--whether they be few or many,” she said. And she enjoyed the companionship of her husband, “We so enjoy each moment together and ask the Lord for many more.” Those words are a great treasure to me.
5. She depended on the faithfulness of God to keep the promises of His Word. “He has been so faithful to me all my life--and that will not change.” The immutability and dependability of God–how wonderful that is! “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” Heb. 13:8
6. God’s faithfulness is seen in the power of the resurrection in Minnie’s life. The separation by death is very painful so it is overwhelmingly important to realize that the separation from loved ones is only temporary because Jesus is “the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me,” Jesus said, “though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever lives and believes in me shall never die.” John 11:25-26 Minnie’s body is dead and in the grave now, but she continues to live because of Jesus’ promise she “shall never die.” She has entered eternal life and is experiencing that glorious life right now.
Your struggle with discouragement may not be because of an anticipated soon death–though death is waiting for you down the road as we all know. “The days ordained for me are written in your book before ever one came to be.” Psalm 139:16 NIV But whatever the “cause,” these principles will help you defeat discouragement. “And this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.” 1 John 5:4 And what is faith? Simply believing that what God has said in His Word is true and can be counted on.
7. Very often Minnie spoke of the great peace that God gave her constantly. She prayed, “Lord, give me your peace.” And He did. One of the most important verses in her life was John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. . . Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” He left that peace for you, too, if you know Him as savior. So don’t allow your heart to be discouraged or afraid.
–Pastor Burnside (for Minnie & for you)
One of the most devastating weapons in Satan’s repertoire of devices is discouragement and I see it in many places. Discouragement is destructive to the individual person, to a church, to a nation, to a family. And scripture has a lot to say about it and how to combat it. But we also need to see those principles demonstrated and lived out in life. It’s one thing to know that we are to “rejoice in the Lord always” and it’s another thing to do it. We can know that we are to be “anxious for nothing,” but what about our daily living?
How woefully inadequate is the world’s “solution” of “singin’ in the rain!” That just doesn’t get it when you’re faced with the devastation we see in the world and the deep problems of some families and the demoralization of people when they are “defeated” and have lost the motivation to carry on.
Where do we see the right attitude and actions demonstrated for us? Well, of course, we see them in Jesus. And we had better look there and keep our eyes focused on Him. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus . . . who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame. . . .” Heb. 12:2 NIV And knowing that He is now at the right hand of the majesty on high, it’s easy to “set our minds and our hearts on things above and not on things of this earth.” Colossians 3
It is also very helpful to see people actually doing that as they face the devastating traumas of life. Yesterday I was gathering material for the last few chapters of “Mimi’s Journey.” (I’ve written the first 10 chapters and I’m skipping the middle section until I’ve finished the end section.) And I came across three e-mails that Minnie wrote shortly after we had just received the most devastating news of our lives, that after all that Minnie had gone through, including the Whipple surgery and six months of chemo, the pancreatic cancer had returned. I wrote to everyone on January 23, 2009, 10:15 PM, “The News is Not Good Tonight” in one of the biggest understatements I ever made in my life.
But how did Minnie react? How did she demonstrate in her own life, in her attitude and actions that God’s sustaining grace was sufficient for this greatest trauma of her life? On January 30, 2009 she wrote to family and friends:
“. . . We continue to feel that the Lord is giving us strength and grace for each day. I want to enjoy every day that He gives me--whether they be few or many. He has been so faithful to me all my life--and that will not change. And he has blessed me with such wonderful friends all over the world. Thank you for praying. Love, Minnie”
And on that same day she revealed a lot that was on her mind when she wrote to her nurse friend:
“. . . Oh my, Sue, this all gets very tiring and I find my refuge in the Lord. When I wake up in the night, He gives me verses--like at what time I am afraid, I will trust in the Lord--and that the Way of the Lord is perfect. I know all these things in my head and I keep praying that the Lord will continue to make them a living reality in my life--and He is being so very faithful to do that. I know that many people are praying for me as I feel so very weak at times--but still strong physically--until about 2 p.m. each day, then I am resting in my recliner.”
She was also resting in the Lord as we all saw in her life. One of her favorite verses was Psalm 37:7 “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him. . . .”
Two days earlier Minnie had written to our oldest daughter Jeannine, “I woke up this morning and the 23rd Psalm was what the Lord brought to my mind as well as the passage in John where Jesus told the disciples he was going away and would come back for them and Thomas asked, how can we go, we don't know the way and he said I WILL COME for you. What a beautiful promise from the Lord. How thankful I am that He gave us His word and that He is the God of all comfort. . . .”
So what Bibical principles was Minnie demonstrating that will help any of us who are dealing with discouragement or depression?
1. “The Word! the Word! the Promises!” is what she told a woman’s group with great feeling. She knew how important reading the scriptures and believing what she read was in her life. We read the Psalms together almost every morning for 54 years. And in the evening I read from the New Testament to her right before she went to sleep at night. God meets with us in His Word. Find your strength in the Lord as you read what He wrote. And quote the scriptures to yourself (or to the Tempter) when you’re struggling with a problem.
2. She had a thankful spirit, rejoicing in the Lord. This is of major importance!
3. She had a favorite verse she lived by, reciting it every day, “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!” And she was glad and she lived her life one day-at-a-time, not worrying about tomorrow.
4. That’s why she always sought to enjoy whatever came to her from the good hand of our God that very day. “I want to enjoy every day that He gives me--whether they be few or many,” she said. And she enjoyed the companionship of her husband, “We so enjoy each moment together and ask the Lord for many more.” Those words are a great treasure to me.
5. She depended on the faithfulness of God to keep the promises of His Word. “He has been so faithful to me all my life--and that will not change.” The immutability and dependability of God–how wonderful that is! “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” Heb. 13:8
6. God’s faithfulness is seen in the power of the resurrection in Minnie’s life. The separation by death is very painful so it is overwhelmingly important to realize that the separation from loved ones is only temporary because Jesus is “the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me,” Jesus said, “though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever lives and believes in me shall never die.” John 11:25-26 Minnie’s body is dead and in the grave now, but she continues to live because of Jesus’ promise she “shall never die.” She has entered eternal life and is experiencing that glorious life right now.
Your struggle with discouragement may not be because of an anticipated soon death–though death is waiting for you down the road as we all know. “The days ordained for me are written in your book before ever one came to be.” Psalm 139:16 NIV But whatever the “cause,” these principles will help you defeat discouragement. “And this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.” 1 John 5:4 And what is faith? Simply believing that what God has said in His Word is true and can be counted on.
7. Very often Minnie spoke of the great peace that God gave her constantly. She prayed, “Lord, give me your peace.” And He did. One of the most important verses in her life was John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. . . Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” He left that peace for you, too, if you know Him as savior. So don’t allow your heart to be discouraged or afraid.
–Pastor Burnside (for Minnie & for you)
Friday, January 28, 2011
7. Life as a Growing Experience: the Tests of Life 1960-1963
Life as a Growing Experience: the Tests of Life 1960-1963
Minnie’s story was beautiful and, for the most part, happy despite the problems and difficulties she encountered as a child, especially with the death of her father. And after she met me and we were married, we were both so very happy and excited about the future and what it might hold. Despite the busy-ness of the first two years of our marriage, they were wonderful and we didn’t mind inconveniences.
And we were so delighted once we were able to start having children. We loved them all so much and they were a major part of our life together. They were a gift from God and we knew it and we were thankful for their good health and intelligence and cute little personalities. But 4 children in 3 ½ years?! What about the mother’s health and the responsibility of caring for them? As Minnie said so often, “There’s never an unwanted child, but sometimes there may be an unwanted pregnancy.”
You’ve seen a lot of happy pictures of a happy family–and indeed we were! but there were adjustments and accommodations to be made and problems to be dealt with in order for that picture to emerge.
We all live as “fallen creatures in a fallen world” and we all have experienced hardship, difficulties, weariness, work that is enjoyable and also work that is difficult and unpleasant or excessive. How do you deal with those things? How do you learn to live? How do you know how to live? How do you come to grips with the basic questions of life: who am I? why am I here? what should I be doing? what purposes should I have in life?
Everyone needs to confront those questions and those issues and Minnie and I did. And we grew in our knowledge of life, of God, of scripture, and of each other. And we ended up loving each other intensely. It was a most beautiful experience and continues even after 54 years of marriage. But there was much to be learned; much to be “adjusted” to; much growing that needed to be done. Minnie was such a mature and beautiful 18-year old girl that I married. I still am amazed that God worked things out that she chose me above all the other boys in her life.
And God was certainly at work in her life and in mine. But He had much more to teach us and one of the tools He so often uses are the “tests of life.” They are difficult but they are designed by God to make us more like Christ and to teach us what attitudes we should have.
We both knew the scriptures and loved them and one thing we were confronted with were Jesus’ words, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also.” John 12:24-26 ESV This is the “gospel paradox.” And anyone who follows Jesus must realize that he or she is called to serve. Jesus told His disciples that we are not to be like the world, but “rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” Luke 22:26 ESV “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28 ESV
Minnie had learned that lesson well long before we were married. She helped to care for her terminally-ill father and worked from the time she was 10 or 11 years old and brought her earnings to her mother and father to be used to help the family. When her father died and her mother had to go to work in the café so early in the morning, it fell to Minnie to prepare breakfast and get her younger brothers off to school. And then she worked until late at night and still had to keep up with her school work. She knew a lot about serving and giving of herself to the family.
And now she was starting a family of her own. And what a beautiful servant she was to her husband and children. She worked so hard and accomplished so much. You will see that clearly as this story unfolds. But it wasn’t easy for all that to take place. Everyone has his/her own struggles and truths to come to grips with.
Minnie often told people that one of her older, mature friends told her when we first got married, “Don’t try to change your husband. Pray for him and God will either change him or change your attitude towards the point of contention.”
Minnie followed that advice in life and taught me to do the same. And God did exactly what her friend had said He would. In many cases when I didn’t have the right attitude and she prayed about it, God gradually changed my attitude through thoughts that He put in my mind and scriptures brought to my remembrance and things other people said and did. Sometimes I would be confronted with the same topic 3 or 4 times in a single week from diverse sources.
I can remember many times maybe even a bit grudgingly at times, admitting that I had been wrong in one of my attitudes. Other times the better attitude (often demonstrated by my wife) would obviously be so much better that I needed to adopt it for myself. And yet, of course, there were some things that I was convinced (and still am) were the correct attitude and Minnie simply learned to accept me the way I was–and love me anyway!
So there are adjustments to be made in any marriage. But there are also difficulties and problems that had to be dealt with. One of the lessons Minnie and I learned very quickly was “don’t let a problem come between the two of you.” You should both be on the same side looking at the problem together and trying to solve it together. If, instead, the problem comes between you, then there is competition for who is going to make the decision and why was there a problem in the first place, etc.
So you can weigh the options honestly together. And Minnie knew and accepted the fact that God has given the responsibility for the family to both husband and wife but that final responsibility God gave to the husband and told him to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her. So Christian husbands are expected to be willing to lay down their lives for their wives, if need be. Surely that would imply that it shouldn’t, then, be too difficult to pour her a cup of tea or help wash the dishes or change the baby’s diaper! Ephesians 5:25-33
But that same passage tells the wife to submit to her husband “for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body. . . .” “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. . . .” 5:28-29
God gave a man his wife because he needs her–and I needed Minnie so-o-o much! After living with her for a lifetime, I know that all the more. She was a “helper suited for me.” (Genesis 1:20-24) And she helped me think through the problems and in the process helped me make decisions. She gave me her advice–and I needed it! “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Proverbs 31:26
That doesn’t mean I always followed it. I can remember a major issue and several minor ones when I went the exact opposite of what she thought we should do. And here is the most amazing part of that incident (and it had to do with where we were going to live and what she was going to do). After trying to persuade me that I was mistaken and making the wrong decision, when she saw that I had finally (perhaps stubbornly) made up my mind about it and we made the move that I had decided on, she threw herself as enthusiastically as she could into “making the most of” a not-good situation into as pleasant a time for the family as she could. I look back at those few months that we were “off course” and then got back on track as some of the most beautiful in our relationship and pulled me so close to my wife. And when I finally admitted that I had been wrong and God enabled us to get back on track, we entered an especially memorable and happy part of our lives: the six years on “Freckles Road.” But more on that later.
Throughout her life I saw that Minnie had learned the lesson of 1 Peter chapter 3 very well. The passage is directed towards unbelievers, but it certainly has an application to mistaken believers as well. It reads like this: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— when they see your respectful and pure conduct. . . . — let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 ESV
Part of the spiritual growing process was in meeting the tests of life. God sends tests our way (or “allows them to come”) to build our character and strength and to make us more like Christ. All of life tests us. Testing is central to life itself. Whether it’s the weather or making a living or getting along with other people or meeting our daily responsibilities we’re constantly faced with tests. Some tests are unusual and dramatic and others are routine daily tests to see if we will obey God and be faithful to what He has written in His word.
You have a whole variety of problems in life. Each one is a test for your character and your obedience to scripture. If your car breaks down, how do you react? If someone cuts you off in traffic or is rude to you, how do you react? If someone in your family doesn’t do what you want, how do you react? You have responsibilities and can’t seem to get them all done. What do you do? All these things are tests. And scripture gives guidance, but do we follow it? There’s your real test: “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” James 1:22
Suffering is a test, too. So we should “rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. . . .” Romans 5:3-5 ESV God produces good from those testings, more valuable than gold. He is making us more like Christ by producing within us the character of Christ.
We also have a very great promise as we face those tests. God has promised that “He will not allow you to be [tested] beyond what you are able. . . .” 1 Cor. 10:13 So He gives us the ability and strength to meet those tests. “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14
How do you recognize a test when you see it? It’s really quite simple. Look at any of the scriptures that tell us how to live and see if you do it. For example, Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Is that what you do? Is that your “work ethic”?
Jesus said, “And if anyone compels you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” Matthew 5:41 Do you go “the second mile” when you help someone?
“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.” Phil. 2:14-15 NIV Can you pass the “never complaining or arguing” test?
How about “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Col. 4:6 Do you meet that test?
You can see there are seemingly unlimited opportunities to grow by meeting the many tests of life. And it should be apparent by now that you can’t do that by yourself. And that’s part of the whole plan: that facing tests will help teach you how to walk with and depend on the Lord. After all we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit and Christ lives within.
Desperate conditions teach us to depend on God. The Apostle Paul told of a situation in which he and his companions “were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.” And then he tells why it happened: “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” 2 Cor. 1:8-10 NIV
Character is produced by responses to tests. We grow stronger as we respond in the right way to tests. “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-3 HCSB
Minnie has told publicly several times of a test she faced and how God enabled her to pass the test. She told it to bring glory to God and to help young women faced with a similar problem. I tell it here for the same reasons.
Picture yourself as a happily married young woman of 22 with 3 children born in 3 successive years. You have your hands full trying to take care of them and your husband and home and you’ve been weakened physically by the three pregnancies so close together. And then one day you realize you’re pregnant again! For the 4th time! And you live a long way from your childhood home and family. And you just simply have too much to do and not enough help in getting it all done. You’re happy and you love your husband and children, but you feel overwhelmed with too much responsibility too soon with inadequate resources. That’s a test!
When Minnie told me she was pregnant for the 4th time, my reaction was the same as with the other three–but much more subdued! “Oh, Honey, that’s wonderful. Children are a gift from God.” Her response stunned me, “Don’t bring God into this! You know how I got pregnant!”
I was at a loss to know how to deal with the situation but I knew she was upset. And of course I could understand–at least partly. But I walked softly and didn’t say much for the next few days and prayed that God would get us through this new situation.
Then Sunday morning I was shocked again. The day began as all Sundays did: Minnie fixed breakfast and I cleaned up the dishes while she got the children ready for Sunday School. Our routine was well-established. When the children were ready, they knew they were to sit in the living room with a picture book or something to play with while their Mommy and Dad finished getting ready. But this morning was different. When I walked into the living room where the children looked so clean and neat as they always did on Sunday mornings, Minnie was still in her gown and robe.
I must have looked totally shocked so she told me, “I’m not going!” “You take the children to Sunday School and church and I’ll listen on the radio.” I was a pretty sad and bewildered young father taking those three children to Sunday School that morning. And when we came home after church, again I was startled–but delighted this time–when Minnie met me at the door, dressed beautifully as she usually was, came into my arms and gave me a big kiss and a wonderful smile and said, “I’m O.K. now! I listened to Dr. McGee and the Lord talked to my heart and everything is O.K. now!”
What a short-lived struggle was that test! I wish all of them could be won that quickly. Minnie told me that the scripture Dr. McGee preached from that morning spoke directly to her heart and that he had specifically said that he wanted to talk to all those young mothers with children who thought they were being kept from serving the Lord by the responsibilities of home and taking care of the children. He told them (and Minnie) that the most important job she would ever do in life was to raise those children that God had given her. A career could be entered later when the time came and if there were other ministries the Lord wanted her to do, those, too, could wait until the proper time.
To this day Minnie and I both always considered that raising our four children was probably the most important assignment God had ever given us. Listen to the way Minnie wrote about that nearly 50 years later:
“I loved each of my children deeply. I enjoyed taking them to the library, to the parks and just being with them.”
“We all loved books and I enjoyed reading to them and listening to them read to me. We encouraged them to bring their friends to our house.”
“I took part in activities at their school–like the mother-daughter style show.”
“As they grew up, I tried to teach them truths about the Lord and to show them God’s love.”
“I always loved to prepare family meals and special food they liked. I love being a mother - I also sewed for them -. “ J-103
And she wrote a few months before she died, “I hope my family will remember that I loved each one of them with all of my heart. I prayed for each of them and ask the Lord to give each of them a desire to know Jesus and to walk close to Him.” J-167
Many years ago not long after we first moved to California in 1958, Minnie told me that she was reading Psalm 37 and came across verse 4 which reads, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” She told me then, and she has told me many times since that “the desire of her heart” is to see her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren walking with the Lord. She loved 3rd John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” That’s what she desired more than anything else for her whole family–including her brothers and her nieces and her extended family.
She wrote, “As a mother, I wanted to take good care of my family. Cooking for them, sewing special outfits and celebrating holidays was a big part of my life.”
“Another important event to me was our evening meal together. This was a time for family sharing and relaxing. All the children enjoyed the coming together around the table - After dinner we read God’s Word together with prayers that God would give each child a hunger for God’s Word.”
“May my family remember that my strength was from the Lord.” J-167
Jon was born Christmas night past midnight, December 26, 1960. It was a very foggy night and Minnie’s doctor was having difficulty getting to the hospital so they gave her something to slow the labor and that led to a difficult and slow delivery. Minnie wrote, “Now our family was complete –two daughters & two sons all under 4 years of age.” J-92 And their mother was 23 years old!
He was such a cute little boy and his brother and sisters “babied” him and played with him and shared things with him and looked after him, helping him swing, giving him rides in the wagon, and reading to him.
Minnie well understood scriptural teachings on the absolute sovereignty of God and certainly believed them. But the struggle was that she also knew that God had created a cause-and-effect universe in which we have the freedom to make choices and do things that result in both expected and unexpected effects. And many things are beyond our control. Jesus told us “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31 ESV
She also loved the scripture that tells us of our inheritance that we have in Christ “according to the purpose of him who works all things after the counsel of his own will.” Ephesians 1:11 And that those “all things” “work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 It doesn’t say that all things are good but that God can take that which is not good and work it together with that which is good to bring about His purposes and our good.
We learned our lesson well. Minnie’s “unwanted pregnancy” turned out to be her very beloved youngest little boy who became her close companion as she began her school career that eventually led to her college degree and her teaching career. (More on that later.) When that same little boy almost died at 3 years of age we were both strengthened through the uncertainty and pain of the time by the knowledge that his life and destiny were in the hands of God.
Fifty years later when Minnie faced her own personal trial and passed through the Valley of the Shadow of Death while pancreatic cancer was destroying her body, she wrote to her students, so many of whom loved her, two days before her last Christmas: “It is almost Christmas so I need to get Bill to update the facebook. I have appreciated so many of your kind words over the last year. My husband is a wonderful care giver who helps me in so many ways with love and a willing heart.”
“I am getting weaker and more fragile, so I don’t know how long God wants to keep me around. He has given me great peace through all of this–now I feel ready to go Home to be with Him.”
“I remember when the doctor told my father he had 2 more months to live and he lived two years. He died at 39.”
“May the Lord bless each one of you as you embrace the Lord Jesus as your Lord and Savior. I am where I have always been–in God’s hands. I am thankful that He loves me and will give me His grace and peace to face whatever comes next. The way of the Lord is perfect.” “Mrs. B., Gentry, 1980-1990"
God prepared her and she was able to rest in the sovereignty and goodness of God in the midst of the difficulties and traumas of life. “I am where I have always been–in God’s hands.” is surely one of her most memorable statements for all of us to heed. “He has given me great peace through all of this,” she wrote and certainly peace characterized her attitude through it all. I remember it well. She often talked about peace and loved this verse in which Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27 Jesus left us a legacy of peace and Minnie left us her own legacy, a wonderful example of someone having that peace of Christ to see her through the valley of the shadow.
In later years Minnie often taught Bible lessons to women’s groups. One of her favorite groups was “Heart and Hand” at Sequim Bible Church in Sequim, Washington. She taught many different lessons through the years we were there and in 2003 when she was given a choice of topics, she chose to teach on the “Sovereignty of God.” In her conclusion Minnie said, “The fact that God is sovereign gives us absolute certainty that our future is secure. God’s plans cannot be derailed. What He has promised will come to pass. He holds eternity in His hand just as He holds us, and we will be joint-heirs with our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Our lives were full of work and happy as a family. I taught the early schedule at a junior high school so that I could get home early in the afternoon. Every day when I got home, the children came running to meet me, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Minnie emphasized that was an important event every day. They were happy and well-fed, bathed as needed, in clean clothes and the house was clean. Minnie kissed me and promptly went down the street to our friend’s house for coffee while I had a special time playing with the four children. (She would tell me, “I love my children dearly but it’s nice to talk to someone more than four years old.”)
Then she came back to finish her preparations for supper which was always delightful and filled with happy conversation. Immediately after supper each night we had the Bible story together and then the children could play until bed time. At the end of the day we got the four of them ready for bed and either Minnie or I read them a story, usually a chapter book. That made them a little drowsy and we both took two children and tucked them in bed and “heard their prayers” and prayed for each one. We still had a quiet evening together ahead of us.
But on the last teaching day before Christmas, 1963, Minnie called me at work (which she rarely did) to tell me that Jon had spiked a very high fever and that she had called Dr. Cleveland. He told her to give him a tepid bath and bring him immediately to his office. By the time we got home, they were ready to go and when Dr. Cleveland saw him, he told us that we must immediately hospitalize him so we took him to Long Beach Memorial Hospital where he was tested and diagnosed as having salmonella, (like typhoid fever). He lost 1/4 of his body weight and they could not get his fever down or the diarrhea stopped.
Another little boy was also admitted to the same hospital with the same disease. We found out later that he died. Minnie continued with the story: “That Christmas was so difficult as our almost 3-year old seemed to be near death. On New Year’s Eve he was worse and our doctor had specialists in to see him. They told us that he might not survive. We called all of our Christian friends [and family] and asked them to pray for Jonathan. Many churches had watch-night services that prayed for his healing. The next morning when we got to the hospital, the medical staff were amazed. He had no fever or diarrhea. From that time, he started getting stronger and was soon able to go home.” J-99 We were so thankful to the Lord for bringing him back to health.
Jon had been in the hospital for 13 days, the entire Christmas holiday. He was to eat much protein and fresh vegetables and fruits for his recuperation. Minnie often took him to the local meat market and bought him all the lean steaks and other meats he liked. She and Jon became so close during that period and she did everything humanly possible to make his life pleasant. We were all so-o-o happy to have him home.
Jon had spent Christmas and also his third birthday in the hospital–and was so deathly sick through both of them that he wasn’t even aware of them. So when he finally got out of the hospital, our Christmas tree was already dry and falling apart so I drove around the neighborhood and found a large white flocked Christmas tree that someone had discarded for the trash pickup. I stuffed it into the trunk of the car and we dragged it into the house and decorated it as well as we could for Jon’s special Christmas.
And then the next day Minnie baked him a birthday cake and we had even more presents to give him. He was one happy boy!
Minnie’s story was beautiful and, for the most part, happy despite the problems and difficulties she encountered as a child, especially with the death of her father. And after she met me and we were married, we were both so very happy and excited about the future and what it might hold. Despite the busy-ness of the first two years of our marriage, they were wonderful and we didn’t mind inconveniences.
And we were so delighted once we were able to start having children. We loved them all so much and they were a major part of our life together. They were a gift from God and we knew it and we were thankful for their good health and intelligence and cute little personalities. But 4 children in 3 ½ years?! What about the mother’s health and the responsibility of caring for them? As Minnie said so often, “There’s never an unwanted child, but sometimes there may be an unwanted pregnancy.”
You’ve seen a lot of happy pictures of a happy family–and indeed we were! but there were adjustments and accommodations to be made and problems to be dealt with in order for that picture to emerge.
We all live as “fallen creatures in a fallen world” and we all have experienced hardship, difficulties, weariness, work that is enjoyable and also work that is difficult and unpleasant or excessive. How do you deal with those things? How do you learn to live? How do you know how to live? How do you come to grips with the basic questions of life: who am I? why am I here? what should I be doing? what purposes should I have in life?
Everyone needs to confront those questions and those issues and Minnie and I did. And we grew in our knowledge of life, of God, of scripture, and of each other. And we ended up loving each other intensely. It was a most beautiful experience and continues even after 54 years of marriage. But there was much to be learned; much to be “adjusted” to; much growing that needed to be done. Minnie was such a mature and beautiful 18-year old girl that I married. I still am amazed that God worked things out that she chose me above all the other boys in her life.
And God was certainly at work in her life and in mine. But He had much more to teach us and one of the tools He so often uses are the “tests of life.” They are difficult but they are designed by God to make us more like Christ and to teach us what attitudes we should have.
We both knew the scriptures and loved them and one thing we were confronted with were Jesus’ words, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also.” John 12:24-26 ESV This is the “gospel paradox.” And anyone who follows Jesus must realize that he or she is called to serve. Jesus told His disciples that we are not to be like the world, but “rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” Luke 22:26 ESV “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28 ESV
Minnie had learned that lesson well long before we were married. She helped to care for her terminally-ill father and worked from the time she was 10 or 11 years old and brought her earnings to her mother and father to be used to help the family. When her father died and her mother had to go to work in the café so early in the morning, it fell to Minnie to prepare breakfast and get her younger brothers off to school. And then she worked until late at night and still had to keep up with her school work. She knew a lot about serving and giving of herself to the family.
And now she was starting a family of her own. And what a beautiful servant she was to her husband and children. She worked so hard and accomplished so much. You will see that clearly as this story unfolds. But it wasn’t easy for all that to take place. Everyone has his/her own struggles and truths to come to grips with.
Minnie often told people that one of her older, mature friends told her when we first got married, “Don’t try to change your husband. Pray for him and God will either change him or change your attitude towards the point of contention.”
Minnie followed that advice in life and taught me to do the same. And God did exactly what her friend had said He would. In many cases when I didn’t have the right attitude and she prayed about it, God gradually changed my attitude through thoughts that He put in my mind and scriptures brought to my remembrance and things other people said and did. Sometimes I would be confronted with the same topic 3 or 4 times in a single week from diverse sources.
I can remember many times maybe even a bit grudgingly at times, admitting that I had been wrong in one of my attitudes. Other times the better attitude (often demonstrated by my wife) would obviously be so much better that I needed to adopt it for myself. And yet, of course, there were some things that I was convinced (and still am) were the correct attitude and Minnie simply learned to accept me the way I was–and love me anyway!
So there are adjustments to be made in any marriage. But there are also difficulties and problems that had to be dealt with. One of the lessons Minnie and I learned very quickly was “don’t let a problem come between the two of you.” You should both be on the same side looking at the problem together and trying to solve it together. If, instead, the problem comes between you, then there is competition for who is going to make the decision and why was there a problem in the first place, etc.
So you can weigh the options honestly together. And Minnie knew and accepted the fact that God has given the responsibility for the family to both husband and wife but that final responsibility God gave to the husband and told him to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her. So Christian husbands are expected to be willing to lay down their lives for their wives, if need be. Surely that would imply that it shouldn’t, then, be too difficult to pour her a cup of tea or help wash the dishes or change the baby’s diaper! Ephesians 5:25-33
But that same passage tells the wife to submit to her husband “for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body. . . .” “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. . . .” 5:28-29
God gave a man his wife because he needs her–and I needed Minnie so-o-o much! After living with her for a lifetime, I know that all the more. She was a “helper suited for me.” (Genesis 1:20-24) And she helped me think through the problems and in the process helped me make decisions. She gave me her advice–and I needed it! “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Proverbs 31:26
That doesn’t mean I always followed it. I can remember a major issue and several minor ones when I went the exact opposite of what she thought we should do. And here is the most amazing part of that incident (and it had to do with where we were going to live and what she was going to do). After trying to persuade me that I was mistaken and making the wrong decision, when she saw that I had finally (perhaps stubbornly) made up my mind about it and we made the move that I had decided on, she threw herself as enthusiastically as she could into “making the most of” a not-good situation into as pleasant a time for the family as she could. I look back at those few months that we were “off course” and then got back on track as some of the most beautiful in our relationship and pulled me so close to my wife. And when I finally admitted that I had been wrong and God enabled us to get back on track, we entered an especially memorable and happy part of our lives: the six years on “Freckles Road.” But more on that later.
Throughout her life I saw that Minnie had learned the lesson of 1 Peter chapter 3 very well. The passage is directed towards unbelievers, but it certainly has an application to mistaken believers as well. It reads like this: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— when they see your respectful and pure conduct. . . . — let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 ESV
Part of the spiritual growing process was in meeting the tests of life. God sends tests our way (or “allows them to come”) to build our character and strength and to make us more like Christ. All of life tests us. Testing is central to life itself. Whether it’s the weather or making a living or getting along with other people or meeting our daily responsibilities we’re constantly faced with tests. Some tests are unusual and dramatic and others are routine daily tests to see if we will obey God and be faithful to what He has written in His word.
You have a whole variety of problems in life. Each one is a test for your character and your obedience to scripture. If your car breaks down, how do you react? If someone cuts you off in traffic or is rude to you, how do you react? If someone in your family doesn’t do what you want, how do you react? You have responsibilities and can’t seem to get them all done. What do you do? All these things are tests. And scripture gives guidance, but do we follow it? There’s your real test: “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” James 1:22
Suffering is a test, too. So we should “rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. . . .” Romans 5:3-5 ESV God produces good from those testings, more valuable than gold. He is making us more like Christ by producing within us the character of Christ.
We also have a very great promise as we face those tests. God has promised that “He will not allow you to be [tested] beyond what you are able. . . .” 1 Cor. 10:13 So He gives us the ability and strength to meet those tests. “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14
How do you recognize a test when you see it? It’s really quite simple. Look at any of the scriptures that tell us how to live and see if you do it. For example, Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Is that what you do? Is that your “work ethic”?
Jesus said, “And if anyone compels you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” Matthew 5:41 Do you go “the second mile” when you help someone?
“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.” Phil. 2:14-15 NIV Can you pass the “never complaining or arguing” test?
How about “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Col. 4:6 Do you meet that test?
You can see there are seemingly unlimited opportunities to grow by meeting the many tests of life. And it should be apparent by now that you can’t do that by yourself. And that’s part of the whole plan: that facing tests will help teach you how to walk with and depend on the Lord. After all we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit and Christ lives within.
Desperate conditions teach us to depend on God. The Apostle Paul told of a situation in which he and his companions “were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.” And then he tells why it happened: “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” 2 Cor. 1:8-10 NIV
Character is produced by responses to tests. We grow stronger as we respond in the right way to tests. “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-3 HCSB
Minnie has told publicly several times of a test she faced and how God enabled her to pass the test. She told it to bring glory to God and to help young women faced with a similar problem. I tell it here for the same reasons.
Picture yourself as a happily married young woman of 22 with 3 children born in 3 successive years. You have your hands full trying to take care of them and your husband and home and you’ve been weakened physically by the three pregnancies so close together. And then one day you realize you’re pregnant again! For the 4th time! And you live a long way from your childhood home and family. And you just simply have too much to do and not enough help in getting it all done. You’re happy and you love your husband and children, but you feel overwhelmed with too much responsibility too soon with inadequate resources. That’s a test!
When Minnie told me she was pregnant for the 4th time, my reaction was the same as with the other three–but much more subdued! “Oh, Honey, that’s wonderful. Children are a gift from God.” Her response stunned me, “Don’t bring God into this! You know how I got pregnant!”
I was at a loss to know how to deal with the situation but I knew she was upset. And of course I could understand–at least partly. But I walked softly and didn’t say much for the next few days and prayed that God would get us through this new situation.
Then Sunday morning I was shocked again. The day began as all Sundays did: Minnie fixed breakfast and I cleaned up the dishes while she got the children ready for Sunday School. Our routine was well-established. When the children were ready, they knew they were to sit in the living room with a picture book or something to play with while their Mommy and Dad finished getting ready. But this morning was different. When I walked into the living room where the children looked so clean and neat as they always did on Sunday mornings, Minnie was still in her gown and robe.
I must have looked totally shocked so she told me, “I’m not going!” “You take the children to Sunday School and church and I’ll listen on the radio.” I was a pretty sad and bewildered young father taking those three children to Sunday School that morning. And when we came home after church, again I was startled–but delighted this time–when Minnie met me at the door, dressed beautifully as she usually was, came into my arms and gave me a big kiss and a wonderful smile and said, “I’m O.K. now! I listened to Dr. McGee and the Lord talked to my heart and everything is O.K. now!”
What a short-lived struggle was that test! I wish all of them could be won that quickly. Minnie told me that the scripture Dr. McGee preached from that morning spoke directly to her heart and that he had specifically said that he wanted to talk to all those young mothers with children who thought they were being kept from serving the Lord by the responsibilities of home and taking care of the children. He told them (and Minnie) that the most important job she would ever do in life was to raise those children that God had given her. A career could be entered later when the time came and if there were other ministries the Lord wanted her to do, those, too, could wait until the proper time.
To this day Minnie and I both always considered that raising our four children was probably the most important assignment God had ever given us. Listen to the way Minnie wrote about that nearly 50 years later:
“I loved each of my children deeply. I enjoyed taking them to the library, to the parks and just being with them.”
“We all loved books and I enjoyed reading to them and listening to them read to me. We encouraged them to bring their friends to our house.”
“I took part in activities at their school–like the mother-daughter style show.”
“As they grew up, I tried to teach them truths about the Lord and to show them God’s love.”
“I always loved to prepare family meals and special food they liked. I love being a mother - I also sewed for them -. “ J-103
And she wrote a few months before she died, “I hope my family will remember that I loved each one of them with all of my heart. I prayed for each of them and ask the Lord to give each of them a desire to know Jesus and to walk close to Him.” J-167
Many years ago not long after we first moved to California in 1958, Minnie told me that she was reading Psalm 37 and came across verse 4 which reads, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” She told me then, and she has told me many times since that “the desire of her heart” is to see her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren walking with the Lord. She loved 3rd John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” That’s what she desired more than anything else for her whole family–including her brothers and her nieces and her extended family.
She wrote, “As a mother, I wanted to take good care of my family. Cooking for them, sewing special outfits and celebrating holidays was a big part of my life.”
“Another important event to me was our evening meal together. This was a time for family sharing and relaxing. All the children enjoyed the coming together around the table - After dinner we read God’s Word together with prayers that God would give each child a hunger for God’s Word.”
“May my family remember that my strength was from the Lord.” J-167
Jon was born Christmas night past midnight, December 26, 1960. It was a very foggy night and Minnie’s doctor was having difficulty getting to the hospital so they gave her something to slow the labor and that led to a difficult and slow delivery. Minnie wrote, “Now our family was complete –two daughters & two sons all under 4 years of age.” J-92 And their mother was 23 years old!
He was such a cute little boy and his brother and sisters “babied” him and played with him and shared things with him and looked after him, helping him swing, giving him rides in the wagon, and reading to him.
Minnie well understood scriptural teachings on the absolute sovereignty of God and certainly believed them. But the struggle was that she also knew that God had created a cause-and-effect universe in which we have the freedom to make choices and do things that result in both expected and unexpected effects. And many things are beyond our control. Jesus told us “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31 ESV
She also loved the scripture that tells us of our inheritance that we have in Christ “according to the purpose of him who works all things after the counsel of his own will.” Ephesians 1:11 And that those “all things” “work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 It doesn’t say that all things are good but that God can take that which is not good and work it together with that which is good to bring about His purposes and our good.
We learned our lesson well. Minnie’s “unwanted pregnancy” turned out to be her very beloved youngest little boy who became her close companion as she began her school career that eventually led to her college degree and her teaching career. (More on that later.) When that same little boy almost died at 3 years of age we were both strengthened through the uncertainty and pain of the time by the knowledge that his life and destiny were in the hands of God.
Fifty years later when Minnie faced her own personal trial and passed through the Valley of the Shadow of Death while pancreatic cancer was destroying her body, she wrote to her students, so many of whom loved her, two days before her last Christmas: “It is almost Christmas so I need to get Bill to update the facebook. I have appreciated so many of your kind words over the last year. My husband is a wonderful care giver who helps me in so many ways with love and a willing heart.”
“I am getting weaker and more fragile, so I don’t know how long God wants to keep me around. He has given me great peace through all of this–now I feel ready to go Home to be with Him.”
“I remember when the doctor told my father he had 2 more months to live and he lived two years. He died at 39.”
“May the Lord bless each one of you as you embrace the Lord Jesus as your Lord and Savior. I am where I have always been–in God’s hands. I am thankful that He loves me and will give me His grace and peace to face whatever comes next. The way of the Lord is perfect.” “Mrs. B., Gentry, 1980-1990"
God prepared her and she was able to rest in the sovereignty and goodness of God in the midst of the difficulties and traumas of life. “I am where I have always been–in God’s hands.” is surely one of her most memorable statements for all of us to heed. “He has given me great peace through all of this,” she wrote and certainly peace characterized her attitude through it all. I remember it well. She often talked about peace and loved this verse in which Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27 Jesus left us a legacy of peace and Minnie left us her own legacy, a wonderful example of someone having that peace of Christ to see her through the valley of the shadow.
In later years Minnie often taught Bible lessons to women’s groups. One of her favorite groups was “Heart and Hand” at Sequim Bible Church in Sequim, Washington. She taught many different lessons through the years we were there and in 2003 when she was given a choice of topics, she chose to teach on the “Sovereignty of God.” In her conclusion Minnie said, “The fact that God is sovereign gives us absolute certainty that our future is secure. God’s plans cannot be derailed. What He has promised will come to pass. He holds eternity in His hand just as He holds us, and we will be joint-heirs with our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Our lives were full of work and happy as a family. I taught the early schedule at a junior high school so that I could get home early in the afternoon. Every day when I got home, the children came running to meet me, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Minnie emphasized that was an important event every day. They were happy and well-fed, bathed as needed, in clean clothes and the house was clean. Minnie kissed me and promptly went down the street to our friend’s house for coffee while I had a special time playing with the four children. (She would tell me, “I love my children dearly but it’s nice to talk to someone more than four years old.”)
Then she came back to finish her preparations for supper which was always delightful and filled with happy conversation. Immediately after supper each night we had the Bible story together and then the children could play until bed time. At the end of the day we got the four of them ready for bed and either Minnie or I read them a story, usually a chapter book. That made them a little drowsy and we both took two children and tucked them in bed and “heard their prayers” and prayed for each one. We still had a quiet evening together ahead of us.
But on the last teaching day before Christmas, 1963, Minnie called me at work (which she rarely did) to tell me that Jon had spiked a very high fever and that she had called Dr. Cleveland. He told her to give him a tepid bath and bring him immediately to his office. By the time we got home, they were ready to go and when Dr. Cleveland saw him, he told us that we must immediately hospitalize him so we took him to Long Beach Memorial Hospital where he was tested and diagnosed as having salmonella, (like typhoid fever). He lost 1/4 of his body weight and they could not get his fever down or the diarrhea stopped.
Another little boy was also admitted to the same hospital with the same disease. We found out later that he died. Minnie continued with the story: “That Christmas was so difficult as our almost 3-year old seemed to be near death. On New Year’s Eve he was worse and our doctor had specialists in to see him. They told us that he might not survive. We called all of our Christian friends [and family] and asked them to pray for Jonathan. Many churches had watch-night services that prayed for his healing. The next morning when we got to the hospital, the medical staff were amazed. He had no fever or diarrhea. From that time, he started getting stronger and was soon able to go home.” J-99 We were so thankful to the Lord for bringing him back to health.
Jon had been in the hospital for 13 days, the entire Christmas holiday. He was to eat much protein and fresh vegetables and fruits for his recuperation. Minnie often took him to the local meat market and bought him all the lean steaks and other meats he liked. She and Jon became so close during that period and she did everything humanly possible to make his life pleasant. We were all so-o-o happy to have him home.
Jon had spent Christmas and also his third birthday in the hospital–and was so deathly sick through both of them that he wasn’t even aware of them. So when he finally got out of the hospital, our Christmas tree was already dry and falling apart so I drove around the neighborhood and found a large white flocked Christmas tree that someone had discarded for the trash pickup. I stuffed it into the trunk of the car and we dragged it into the house and decorated it as well as we could for Jon’s special Christmas.
And then the next day Minnie baked him a birthday cake and we had even more presents to give him. He was one happy boy!
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