7. Life as a Growing Experience: the Tests of Life 1960-1963

Life as a Growing Experience: the Tests of Life 1960-1963
Minnie’s story was beautiful and, for the most part, happy despite the problems and difficulties she encountered as a child, especially with the death of her father. And after she met me and we were married, we were both so very happy and excited about the future and what it might hold. Despite the busy-ness of the first two years of our marriage, they were wonderful and we didn’t mind inconveniences.

And we were so delighted once we were able to start having children. We loved them all so much and they were a major part of our life together. They were a gift from God and we knew it and we were thankful for their good health and intelligence and cute little personalities. But 4 children in 3 ½ years?! What about the mother’s health and the responsibility of caring for them? As Minnie said so often, “There’s never an unwanted child, but sometimes there may be an unwanted pregnancy.”

You’ve seen a lot of happy pictures of a happy family–and indeed we were! but there were adjustments and accommodations to be made and problems to be dealt with in order for that picture to emerge.

We all live as “fallen creatures in a fallen world” and we all have experienced hardship, difficulties, weariness, work that is enjoyable and also work that is difficult and unpleasant or excessive. How do you deal with those things? How do you learn to live? How do you know how to live? How do you come to grips with the basic questions of life: who am I? why am I here? what should I be doing? what purposes should I have in life?

Everyone needs to confront those questions and those issues and Minnie and I did. And we grew in our knowledge of life, of God, of scripture, and of each other. And we ended up loving each other intensely. It was a most beautiful experience and continues even after 54 years of marriage. But there was much to be learned; much to be “adjusted” to; much growing that needed to be done. Minnie was such a mature and beautiful 18-year old girl that I married. I still am amazed that God worked things out that she chose me above all the other boys in her life.

And God was certainly at work in her life and in mine. But He had much more to teach us and one of the tools He so often uses are the “tests of life.” They are difficult but they are designed by God to make us more like Christ and to teach us what attitudes we should have.
We both knew the scriptures and loved them and one thing we were confronted with were Jesus’ words, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also.” John 12:24-26 ESV This is the “gospel paradox.” And anyone who follows Jesus must realize that he or she is called to serve. Jesus told His disciples that we are not to be like the world, but “rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.” Luke 22:26 ESV “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28 ESV

Minnie had learned that lesson well long before we were married. She helped to care for her terminally-ill father and worked from the time she was 10 or 11 years old and brought her earnings to her mother and father to be used to help the family. When her father died and her mother had to go to work in the café so early in the morning, it fell to Minnie to prepare breakfast and get her younger brothers off to school. And then she worked until late at night and still had to keep up with her school work. She knew a lot about serving and giving of herself to the family.

And now she was starting a family of her own. And what a beautiful servant she was to her husband and children. She worked so hard and accomplished so much. You will see that clearly as this story unfolds. But it wasn’t easy for all that to take place. Everyone has his/her own struggles and truths to come to grips with.

Minnie often told people that one of her older, mature friends told her when we first got married, “Don’t try to change your husband. Pray for him and God will either change him or change your attitude towards the point of contention.”

Minnie followed that advice in life and taught me to do the same. And God did exactly what her friend had said He would. In many cases when I didn’t have the right attitude and she prayed about it, God gradually changed my attitude through thoughts that He put in my mind and scriptures brought to my remembrance and things other people said and did. Sometimes I would be confronted with the same topic 3 or 4 times in a single week from diverse sources.

I can remember many times maybe even a bit grudgingly at times, admitting that I had been wrong in one of my attitudes. Other times the better attitude (often demonstrated by my wife) would obviously be so much better that I needed to adopt it for myself. And yet, of course, there were some things that I was convinced (and still am) were the correct attitude and Minnie simply learned to accept me the way I was–and love me anyway!

So there are adjustments to be made in any marriage. But there are also difficulties and problems that had to be dealt with. One of the lessons Minnie and I learned very quickly was “don’t let a problem come between the two of you.” You should both be on the same side looking at the problem together and trying to solve it together. If, instead, the problem comes between you, then there is competition for who is going to make the decision and why was there a problem in the first place, etc.

So you can weigh the options honestly together. And Minnie knew and accepted the fact that God has given the responsibility for the family to both husband and wife but that final responsibility God gave to the husband and told him to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her. So Christian husbands are expected to be willing to lay down their lives for their wives, if need be. Surely that would imply that it shouldn’t, then, be too difficult to pour her a cup of tea or help wash the dishes or change the baby’s diaper! Ephesians 5:25-33

But that same passage tells the wife to submit to her husband “for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body. . . .” “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. . . .” 5:28-29

God gave a man his wife because he needs her–and I needed Minnie so-o-o much! After living with her for a lifetime, I know that all the more. She was a “helper suited for me.” (Genesis 1:20-24) And she helped me think through the problems and in the process helped me make decisions. She gave me her advice–and I needed it! “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Proverbs 31:26

That doesn’t mean I always followed it. I can remember a major issue and several minor ones when I went the exact opposite of what she thought we should do. And here is the most amazing part of that incident (and it had to do with where we were going to live and what she was going to do). After trying to persuade me that I was mistaken and making the wrong decision, when she saw that I had finally (perhaps stubbornly) made up my mind about it and we made the move that I had decided on, she threw herself as enthusiastically as she could into “making the most of” a not-good situation into as pleasant a time for the family as she could. I look back at those few months that we were “off course” and then got back on track as some of the most beautiful in our relationship and pulled me so close to my wife. And when I finally admitted that I had been wrong and God enabled us to get back on track, we entered an especially memorable and happy part of our lives: the six years on “Freckles Road.” But more on that later.

Throughout her life I saw that Minnie had learned the lesson of 1 Peter chapter 3 very well. The passage is directed towards unbelievers, but it certainly has an application to mistaken believers as well. It reads like this: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— when they see your respectful and pure conduct. . . . — let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 ESV

Part of the spiritual growing process was in meeting the tests of life. God sends tests our way (or “allows them to come”) to build our character and strength and to make us more like Christ. All of life tests us. Testing is central to life itself. Whether it’s the weather or making a living or getting along with other people or meeting our daily responsibilities we’re constantly faced with tests. Some tests are unusual and dramatic and others are routine daily tests to see if we will obey God and be faithful to what He has written in His word.

You have a whole variety of problems in life. Each one is a test for your character and your obedience to scripture. If your car breaks down, how do you react? If someone cuts you off in traffic or is rude to you, how do you react? If someone in your family doesn’t do what you want, how do you react? You have responsibilities and can’t seem to get them all done. What do you do? All these things are tests. And scripture gives guidance, but do we follow it? There’s your real test: “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” James 1:22

Suffering is a test, too. So we should “rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. . . .” Romans 5:3-5 ESV God produces good from those testings, more valuable than gold. He is making us more like Christ by producing within us the character of Christ.

We also have a very great promise as we face those tests. God has promised that “He will not allow you to be [tested] beyond what you are able. . . .” 1 Cor. 10:13 So He gives us the ability and strength to meet those tests. “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

How do you recognize a test when you see it? It’s really quite simple. Look at any of the scriptures that tell us how to live and see if you do it. For example, Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Is that what you do? Is that your “work ethic”?

Jesus said, “And if anyone compels you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” Matthew 5:41 Do you go “the second mile” when you help someone?

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.” Phil. 2:14-15 NIV Can you pass the “never complaining or arguing” test?

How about “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Col. 4:6 Do you meet that test?

You can see there are seemingly unlimited opportunities to grow by meeting the many tests of life. And it should be apparent by now that you can’t do that by yourself. And that’s part of the whole plan: that facing tests will help teach you how to walk with and depend on the Lord. After all we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit and Christ lives within.

Desperate conditions teach us to depend on God. The Apostle Paul told of a situation in which he and his companions “were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.” And then he tells why it happened: “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” 2 Cor. 1:8-10 NIV
Character is produced by responses to tests. We grow stronger as we respond in the right way to tests. “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-3 HCSB

Minnie has told publicly several times of a test she faced and how God enabled her to pass the test. She told it to bring glory to God and to help young women faced with a similar problem. I tell it here for the same reasons.

Picture yourself as a happily married young woman of 22 with 3 children born in 3 successive years. You have your hands full trying to take care of them and your husband and home and you’ve been weakened physically by the three pregnancies so close together. And then one day you realize you’re pregnant again! For the 4th time! And you live a long way from your childhood home and family. And you just simply have too much to do and not enough help in getting it all done. You’re happy and you love your husband and children, but you feel overwhelmed with too much responsibility too soon with inadequate resources. That’s a test!

When Minnie told me she was pregnant for the 4th time, my reaction was the same as with the other three–but much more subdued! “Oh, Honey, that’s wonderful. Children are a gift from God.” Her response stunned me, “Don’t bring God into this! You know how I got pregnant!”

I was at a loss to know how to deal with the situation but I knew she was upset. And of course I could understand–at least partly. But I walked softly and didn’t say much for the next few days and prayed that God would get us through this new situation.

Then Sunday morning I was shocked again. The day began as all Sundays did: Minnie fixed breakfast and I cleaned up the dishes while she got the children ready for Sunday School. Our routine was well-established. When the children were ready, they knew they were to sit in the living room with a picture book or something to play with while their Mommy and Dad finished getting ready. But this morning was different. When I walked into the living room where the children looked so clean and neat as they always did on Sunday mornings, Minnie was still in her gown and robe.

I must have looked totally shocked so she told me, “I’m not going!” “You take the children to Sunday School and church and I’ll listen on the radio.” I was a pretty sad and bewildered young father taking those three children to Sunday School that morning. And when we came home after church, again I was startled–but delighted this time–when Minnie met me at the door, dressed beautifully as she usually was, came into my arms and gave me a big kiss and a wonderful smile and said, “I’m O.K. now! I listened to Dr. McGee and the Lord talked to my heart and everything is O.K. now!”

What a short-lived struggle was that test! I wish all of them could be won that quickly. Minnie told me that the scripture Dr. McGee preached from that morning spoke directly to her heart and that he had specifically said that he wanted to talk to all those young mothers with children who thought they were being kept from serving the Lord by the responsibilities of home and taking care of the children. He told them (and Minnie) that the most important job she would ever do in life was to raise those children that God had given her. A career could be entered later when the time came and if there were other ministries the Lord wanted her to do, those, too, could wait until the proper time.

To this day Minnie and I both always considered that raising our four children was probably the most important assignment God had ever given us. Listen to the way Minnie wrote about that nearly 50 years later:
“I loved each of my children deeply. I enjoyed taking them to the library, to the parks and just being with them.”
“We all loved books and I enjoyed reading to them and listening to them read to me. We encouraged them to bring their friends to our house.”
“I took part in activities at their school–like the mother-daughter style show.”

“As they grew up, I tried to teach them truths about the Lord and to show them God’s love.”
“I always loved to prepare family meals and special food they liked. I love being a mother - I also sewed for them -. “ J-103

And she wrote a few months before she died, “I hope my family will remember that I loved each one of them with all of my heart. I prayed for each of them and ask the Lord to give each of them a desire to know Jesus and to walk close to Him.” J-167

Many years ago not long after we first moved to California in 1958, Minnie told me that she was reading Psalm 37 and came across verse 4 which reads, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” She told me then, and she has told me many times since that “the desire of her heart” is to see her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren walking with the Lord. She loved 3rd John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” That’s what she desired more than anything else for her whole family–including her brothers and her nieces and her extended family.

She wrote, “As a mother, I wanted to take good care of my family. Cooking for them, sewing special outfits and celebrating holidays was a big part of my life.”

“Another important event to me was our evening meal together. This was a time for family sharing and relaxing. All the children enjoyed the coming together around the table - After dinner we read God’s Word together with prayers that God would give each child a hunger for God’s Word.”
“May my family remember that my strength was from the Lord.” J-167

Jon was born Christmas night past midnight, December 26, 1960. It was a very foggy night and Minnie’s doctor was having difficulty getting to the hospital so they gave her something to slow the labor and that led to a difficult and slow delivery. Minnie wrote, “Now our family was complete –two daughters & two sons all under 4 years of age.” J-92 And their mother was 23 years old!

He was such a cute little boy and his brother and sisters “babied” him and played with him and shared things with him and looked after him, helping him swing, giving him rides in the wagon, and reading to him.

Minnie well understood scriptural teachings on the absolute sovereignty of God and certainly believed them. But the struggle was that she also knew that God had created a cause-and-effect universe in which we have the freedom to make choices and do things that result in both expected and unexpected effects. And many things are beyond our control. Jesus told us “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31 ESV

She also loved the scripture that tells us of our inheritance that we have in Christ “according to the purpose of him who works all things after the counsel of his own will.” Ephesians 1:11 And that those “all things” “work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 It doesn’t say that all things are good but that God can take that which is not good and work it together with that which is good to bring about His purposes and our good.

We learned our lesson well. Minnie’s “unwanted pregnancy” turned out to be her very beloved youngest little boy who became her close companion as she began her school career that eventually led to her college degree and her teaching career. (More on that later.) When that same little boy almost died at 3 years of age we were both strengthened through the uncertainty and pain of the time by the knowledge that his life and destiny were in the hands of God.

Fifty years later when Minnie faced her own personal trial and passed through the Valley of the Shadow of Death while pancreatic cancer was destroying her body, she wrote to her students, so many of whom loved her, two days before her last Christmas: “It is almost Christmas so I need to get Bill to update the facebook. I have appreciated so many of your kind words over the last year. My husband is a wonderful care giver who helps me in so many ways with love and a willing heart.”

“I am getting weaker and more fragile, so I don’t know how long God wants to keep me around. He has given me great peace through all of this–now I feel ready to go Home to be with Him.”

“I remember when the doctor told my father he had 2 more months to live and he lived two years. He died at 39.”

“May the Lord bless each one of you as you embrace the Lord Jesus as your Lord and Savior. I am where I have always been–in God’s hands. I am thankful that He loves me and will give me His grace and peace to face whatever comes next. The way of the Lord is perfect.” “Mrs. B., Gentry, 1980-1990"

God prepared her and she was able to rest in the sovereignty and goodness of God in the midst of the difficulties and traumas of life. “I am where I have always been–in God’s hands.” is surely one of her most memorable statements for all of us to heed. “He has given me great peace through all of this,” she wrote and certainly peace characterized her attitude through it all. I remember it well. She often talked about peace and loved this verse in which Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27 Jesus left us a legacy of peace and Minnie left us her own legacy, a wonderful example of someone having that peace of Christ to see her through the valley of the shadow.

In later years Minnie often taught Bible lessons to women’s groups. One of her favorite groups was “Heart and Hand” at Sequim Bible Church in Sequim, Washington. She taught many different lessons through the years we were there and in 2003 when she was given a choice of topics, she chose to teach on the “Sovereignty of God.” In her conclusion Minnie said, “The fact that God is sovereign gives us absolute certainty that our future is secure. God’s plans cannot be derailed. What He has promised will come to pass. He holds eternity in His hand just as He holds us, and we will be joint-heirs with our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Our lives were full of work and happy as a family. I taught the early schedule at a junior high school so that I could get home early in the afternoon. Every day when I got home, the children came running to meet me, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Minnie emphasized that was an important event every day. They were happy and well-fed, bathed as needed, in clean clothes and the house was clean. Minnie kissed me and promptly went down the street to our friend’s house for coffee while I had a special time playing with the four children. (She would tell me, “I love my children dearly but it’s nice to talk to someone more than four years old.”)

Then she came back to finish her preparations for supper which was always delightful and filled with happy conversation. Immediately after supper each night we had the Bible story together and then the children could play until bed time. At the end of the day we got the four of them ready for bed and either Minnie or I read them a story, usually a chapter book. That made them a little drowsy and we both took two children and tucked them in bed and “heard their prayers” and prayed for each one. We still had a quiet evening together ahead of us.

But on the last teaching day before Christmas, 1963, Minnie called me at work (which she rarely did) to tell me that Jon had spiked a very high fever and that she had called Dr. Cleveland. He told her to give him a tepid bath and bring him immediately to his office. By the time we got home, they were ready to go and when Dr. Cleveland saw him, he told us that we must immediately hospitalize him so we took him to Long Beach Memorial Hospital where he was tested and diagnosed as having salmonella, (like typhoid fever). He lost 1/4 of his body weight and they could not get his fever down or the diarrhea stopped.

Another little boy was also admitted to the same hospital with the same disease. We found out later that he died. Minnie continued with the story: “That Christmas was so difficult as our almost 3-year old seemed to be near death. On New Year’s Eve he was worse and our doctor had specialists in to see him. They told us that he might not survive. We called all of our Christian friends [and family] and asked them to pray for Jonathan. Many churches had watch-night services that prayed for his healing. The next morning when we got to the hospital, the medical staff were amazed. He had no fever or diarrhea. From that time, he started getting stronger and was soon able to go home.” J-99 We were so thankful to the Lord for bringing him back to health.

Jon had been in the hospital for 13 days, the entire Christmas holiday. He was to eat much protein and fresh vegetables and fruits for his recuperation. Minnie often took him to the local meat market and bought him all the lean steaks and other meats he liked. She and Jon became so close during that period and she did everything humanly possible to make his life pleasant. We were all so-o-o happy to have him home.
Jon had spent Christmas and also his third birthday in the hospital–and was so deathly sick through both of them that he wasn’t even aware of them. So when he finally got out of the hospital, our Christmas tree was already dry and falling apart so I drove around the neighborhood and found a large white flocked Christmas tree that someone had discarded for the trash pickup. I stuffed it into the trunk of the car and we dragged it into the house and decorated it as well as we could for Jon’s special Christmas.

And then the next day Minnie baked him a birthday cake and we had even more presents to give him. He was one happy boy!

6. California 1958-1960 The Early Years

California, 1958-1969

 

 

The Early Years, 1958-60

        I grew up in southern California in the 1930's. I was born in Whittier and I remember my grandfather’s place in El Monte and my early boyhood was spent in Long Beach, especially on the beach and in the parks. And what a wonderful climate. We often took a Sunday afternoon drive in my Dad’s Model A Ford into Orange County when they still had orange trees there and inexpensive fruit markets were in many places. I remember the wide boulevards and the beautiful Mediterranean style homes and the wonderful climate where kids could play outside year round. And we did. My brother and sister and I roamed the beaches and played in the parks, taking a peanut butter sandwich for lunch so that we didn’t have to take time out to go home and eat. I remember dropping that peanut butter sandwich in the sand one time only to discover that it didn’t matter how much you “dusted it off,” it was impossible to eat a peanut butter sandwich that had sand on it. So I stood around a picnic table, trying to look pitiful where a family was eating their lunch, hoping they would give me something to eat. They did. ^-*)

        World War Two began for the United States with the attack on Pearl Harbor December 7, 1941. (Minnie’s Uncle Bill was stationed at Pearl Harbor when it was bombed. He was washing up for breakfast and when he heard the sirens, he ran. The heel of one of his shoes was shot off. J-74) Obviously there was a great deal of excitement and activity in California. We had blackouts, air raid drills, and even some nervous anti-aircraft fire on the coast sometimes at night. And in November, 1942 we moved to El Paso, Texas because my Dad, who was an accountant, got a job in defense industry there. I was 9 years old then in the 4^th grade. So I grew up in my teen-age years in West Texas, but I always missed California and the beauty of the beaches and the coolness of the climate.

        So it’s not surprising that after Minnie and I were married and we were discussing long-term plans, I kept talking about California. We also discussed the possibility of moving to Colorado or Oregon or Washington. And we looked at “tract houses” and considered buying one for $8000. I was a veteran and had the G.I.Bill and FHA loans were also low. But I had such a great desire to show California to Minnie. I just knew she would love it. And she did. And it was a wonderful place to raise children because they could be outside all year round.

        What neither of us realized, though, was how much Minnie would miss her mother if we moved away. We didn’t realize the intensity of it or the feeling of aloneness and “you’re on your own” attitude that would occur. Minnie’s mother told her, “You must go where your husband wants to take you.” And Minnie knew that, too. For my part I was just so enthusiastic about sharing that lovely world of my childhood with my dear wife and children. And we did. And it was idyllic in some ways. But we had not foreseen the difficulties that you will see as this story unfolds.

        Many years later Minnie evaluated our move to California this way: “In 1958 Bill and I with our two little ones left Texas to move to Southern California. I had always lived in Texas and was able to see my mother very often.”

        “Then I found myself in California with a 3-month old and a 15-month old–and a loving husband. Seeing new things was exciting, but I had not realized how much I would miss Mother, Patsy and my brothers. This was such a growing up experience for me. I was 21 years old.”

        “Letters, phone calls and visits helped. I am glad my mother didn’t discourage our move as being away from family caused me to draw closer and closer to Bill and to depend on the Lord.” J-101

        Minnie was 70 or 71 years old when she wrote those words of wisdom. But if I had realized the pain it would cause her and her mother and sister I probably would have made the decision to buy that “tract home” in San Antonio. And our lives would have been quite different. And God would still have taught us the lessons He wanted us to learn. And we would have had a happy home either place.

        Through it all we learned a lot about the providence of God. The Lord has a way of getting us where He wants us and more important, He has a way of teaching us what He desires to teach us. He is more interested in how our character and our relationship to Him is being formed than He is in the particular place where He guides us. And we know some of what He wants to accomplish because He revealed it in His Word. He wants to make us more like Christ in our character and attitudes. He uses our ignorance as well as our knowledge to guide us. And He puts us through the hard times that we are reluctant to put ourselves through. You saw what Minnie wrote, “[It] caused me to draw closer and closer to Bill and to depend on the Lord.”

         That’s precisely what the Apostle Paul wrote when he talked about the hardships they experienced: “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God. . . .” 2 Cor. 1:9 NIV Nevertheless, separations are one of the most painful parts of life in this fallen world. And we look forward to the day when there will be no more pain or sorrow, including the pain of separation. But we did see her family often. Every summer or at Christmas we made that long drive from California and across Texas. And more important than where we lived was how we lived especially in our relationships together and as a family. And that, as Minnie indicated in what she wrote, that was very strong indeed. And for that we are especially thankful. We went through difficult times together and that brought us ever closer to each other and to the Lord.

        But back to our story. Look at the picture at the beginning of this chapter and see how beautiful it was in Santa Barbara the first time Minnie and Jeannine saw the ocean. We had just crossed the desert in summer time without air conditioning. (In those days we just had an air-cooling water fan in the window.) We stopped at road side parks for picnics and to rest. . After the hot desert it was so refreshing to get across the mountains surrounding the Los Angeles basin and were met with the cool breezes from the ocean and the magnificent seascapes. Minnie fell in love with the place just as I had. And the fruit and vegetable markets were wonderful after such a hot summer.

        Jeannine sent this picture to her mother and wrote this on the back, “Mother – This is on the beach. Oh how Jeannine Jo loves it! That is Billy's bassinet back upon the beach.”

        The first order of business after initially seeing the surroundings, though, was finding a job and God in His providence gave me the first job I applied for, a teaching position in the Long Beach Unified School District. And things were really difficult financially. The school credit union helped us out with a loan so that we could drive back to San Antonio and rent a trailer and bring our things to California. By this time Minnie was pretty exhausted as you can sense from this picture I took of her at the Grand Canyon on the way back to California on our second trip.

        Minnie and I were both so thankful that I had been given a job by the Long Beach Unified School District that paid more than the preceding year. My salary in San Antonio had been $3650. a year and Long Beach paid me $5070. that first year. But it wasn't enough to support a family so I had to get paid on a 10-month basis rather than a 12-month. That meant we would not have money to live on the next summer.

        Our first apartment was on Long Beach Boulevard, very noisy on the second floor so we needed to move to a quieter place as soon as we could. But our little family was happy together as you can see from these pictures of Jeannine and Little Billy.

        Finances were so tight that first year in California that Minnie made the reluctant suggestion that she should apply for a federal government job since she already had a top secret clearance. Both of us knew that was not a good idea, but we reluctantly thought of it as a possible “short term” solution. It was a mistake and we both realized that it was and so it was very short-lived. But we also learned that God can use even our mistakes to work out His purposes for His kingdom and for our lives. The place where Minnie worked was called Maywood Air Force Depot and during the lunch hour almost everyone went to the Officer’s Mess except Minnie and one other civilian employee. So while they ate their sack lunches in the office they got acquainted and Minnie found out that he was “Jehovah’s Witness” and did not know the Lord as his savior. So she told him the truths of the gospel from the scriptures and he listened politely and they had several discussions. We were already in the habit of inviting people to our home for dinner and conversation and we both saw hospitality as a ministry towards others as well as an enjoyable social occasion. And Minnie was an excellent cook! So she invited this young man [I can’t remember his name!] and his wife to our home for dinner on a Saturday evening. We had long conversations about the Lord and salvation and the Bible and they also met us one Thursday evening at the Church of the Open Door for Dr. McGee’s Bible class.

        The friendship ended when Minnie resigned from her position in just a very few weeks, but several years later she received a phone call from a man who asked if she was the “Minnie Burnside” who had worked at Maywood Air Force Depot. She told him she was and he identified himself as her co-worker in that office. He said he wanted her to know that gradually the Lord had worked on their hearts and he and his wife had noticed that there was a strength in Minnie’s and my relationship and they recognized that it was because we knew the Lord that we also treated each other so kindly. He and his wife both discussed what they had heard and seen and decided to go to a neighborhood Baptist church where the Lord brought them to Himself. Obviously this was very good news to both Minnie and me and it was a good example of how God brings fruit out of our lives and efforts to serve Him.

        I was paid only once a month by the school district so we had to manage the little money we had quite carefully. We used a cash envelope system and set aside money for each of the necessities of daily living. And Minnie was VERY good at finding the “specials” at each of the grocery stores. She made a list of exactly what we would buy at each market and since she did not know how to drive a car in those early years, we would take the children to each of the stores and make those purchases each monthly pay day. It was actually an enjoyable outing, particularly when we went to the fruit and vegetable market. And I worked carefully on a family budget.

One day I came into the kitchen very excited with the budget in my hand and told her, “Look, Honey, I’ve got it worked out. We’ve got enough money to get by and you won’t need to work anymore! Then you can stay home and take care of the children. That’s more than enough for you to do.” And I showed her how all the figures added up and we could make our payments and buy the groceries and even have a small allowance for clothing occasionally. So she was very happy and immediately submitted her resignation to her employer.

        The next pay day I set aside the cash in envelopes just as planned and began writing checks to pay the utility bills and other payments. And suddenly I realized that there wasn’t enough money in the bank to pay all of the bills and I couldn’t quite figure that out. So I went back over the budget very carefully and compared it with my pay stubs and then I realized what had happened. I went into the kitchen laughing and told Minnie, “Guess what, Honey!” I made a $100. addition error in the budget so we will be $100. short of what we need every month. And I laughed and laughed because I thought it was so funny. Minnie’s reaction was a little different. She said, “Well, what are we going to do?” I told her that obviously the only thing I could do was to get a part-time job to make that extra $100. a month–but I was so happy that she could stay home with the children that I didn’t mind the extra work. And we learned again that God can use our mistakes!

        And He immediately gave me a job at a neighborhood Western Auto store as a salesman. I worked two evenings a week helping customers find what they wanted. I remember one evening a lady came in and wanted to buy a television set. Well, that’s a big purchase so I began helping her find the one she wanted and started to write the sales order when she casually made the comment, “Boy, my husband is going to be mad at this!” because she was wanting to open a charge account to make the purchase. I talked to her a little more to find out what she meant and she explained that she had opened charge accounts all over town and of course that was very difficult on the family budget and her husband was frustrated at her irresponsibility. This was on a Friday evening and so I suggested to her that maybe she might want to go home and talk about it with her husband and then if they wanted to open the account, she could come back on Monday. Well, that sounded good to her so she thanked me and left.

        Unknown to me, however, the sales manager had overheard the entire conversation–and so had the store manager. The sales manager was “hopping mad!” and confronted me with “losing a sale.” I told him, “Well, we’re supposed to ‘love our neighbor as ourselves’ and it’s a matter of love to be concerned with irresponsible purchases so I was just acting in love being more concerned about the welfare of the customer and her marriage than whether I made a sale or not.” The sales manager didn’t quite see it that way! And he chewed me out. I don’t remember what he said but it wasn’t very helpful.

        But scripture also tells us that “The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.” Proverbs 21:1 Well, it was the store manager and not the king that the Lord gave me favor with, but “the rest of the story” is that the store manager actually liked what I told the sales manager and he took a personal interest in me and our little family. As Christmas 1958 approached, we all knew we would have very little money for Christmas and yet this was the first Christmas that Jeannine was old enough to understand what was happening. And I really wanted to get her something that she liked a lot, a toy horsey to ride, and Billy was old enough for a little red wagon. It just “so happened” that the horsey and the wagon both had been on display and had been slightly damaged so that they couldn’t be sold at full price. The manager told me that if someone wanted to buy either one or both, they could have them at a greatly reduced price. Well, I found “someone” to buy both of them–but I couldn’t have afforded them at full price. Just another “small” example of how God looked after us in those difficult years (and has continued to ever since, of course.)

        Here are some pictures from Christmas, 1958, and a later picture from April, 1959 showing Billy also riding the little horse. The other pictures are from Easter, 1959. You can see that Minnie is wearing a maternity dress, carrying Cheryl. We lived in a beautiful house with a wonderful back yard with a fig tree and they wanted us to buy it, but we couldn’t afford it and eventually had to move when it was sold.

        The Lord’s kindness was shown in a VERY unusual way one night while I was working at Western Auto and Minnie was home taking care of the children. The telephone rang and the caller asked to speak to me. Minnie told him that I was at work at Western Auto but she could take a message. He said he knew that I was a teacher and wanted to know why I had not applied for an evening teaching position with the Adult Division of Long Beach City College. Minnie told him that I knew about those positions but that I had been told that they were available only to teachers with master’s degrees and that I had just started my master’s degree at Long Beach State College (which I had in order to have a little income from the G.I.Bill). And she asked him who he was. The man told her, “I am Dr. Norvell, Dean of the Evening Division of Long Beach City College.”

So Minnie asked him how he knew her husband and he told her that he was in my adult Sunday School class at Truitt Memorial Baptist Church and so he knew that I had the ability to teach adults. (I knew he was in my class but I didn’t know who he was or the significance of his position.) He asked her if I might be interested in teaching in the Adult Division and she told him, “Oh, I know he would. He’s mentioned it before.” So he told her to tell me to come by his office to sign papers and I could teach in the fall semester of 1959. So that’s how the Lord got me started into college teaching and also eventually eased our financial situation considerably because the part-time pay was much higher than Western Auto.

        But that didn’t solve our problem for the summer of ‘59 when Cheryl was born. That was the most difficult summer in my memory as I tried to get enough part-time work to support the family, but also because Minnie became VERY ill with fever and a throat infection at the same time she had to take care of her new baby–and I had to work long hours and was not there to help with the children. We had no income that summer except what I could scrape together with two part-time jobs and the G.I.Bill for summer school. I worked as a coach in a day-care center at a public park and then at night I drove to downtown Los Angeles to sort mail in the evenings and got home around midnight each night.

        After Cheryl was born on July 27, 1959, Minnie had to take care of herself and a new baby and our two other small children. Then she got very, very ill. I came home one night at midnight after working at the post office and she was sitting on the floor holding baby Cheryl and had the other two children asleep beside her. I touched her face and she was burning up with fever. She said she was so dizzy that she was afraid to stand up for fear she would fall. I immediately put in an emergency call to Kaiser clinic since that was our medical plan. A doctor immediately made an emergency call despite the late hour and realized the situation. He gave her an intravenous antibiotic and other medicine and instructions to me as to how to care for her and our three children. What a difficult summer it was! The Lord gave Minnie a friend just a few doors down the street, a mother with children just a bit older than ours. She was so-o-o helpful during those days of great need and I’m grateful to her to this day.

        Minnie’s mother had come to see us in March and was a very big help during the time she was here. She loved California and her grandchildren very much, but she obviously couldn’t make a second trip that soon after the first one.

        Lolly (Cheryl) made a sweet addition to the family and everyone loved her and took care of her. These pictures were taken Easter, 1960.

        Minnie worked hard to take care of her family, but it was a happy family. Here is Minnie under the fig tree. She was the mother of 3 children and yet still 22 years of age.

        We took the children to Disneyland, just a few miles from where we lived, every year.

        Finally in 1960 I was able to take the family to Yosemite. You'll notice that Minnie was pregnant again.

        These pictures are from the next year when Minnie’s mother came to visit and brought her granddaughter Vanessa.

        Christmas 1960 was especially eventful for us because Jonathan was born Christmas night–two hours after midnight. Minnie had a difficult delivery but he was finally born well and healthy and we were thankful for that. Minnie was 23 years old with 4 children and only 3 ½ years between the oldest and the youngest.

        While we were waiting for Jon to be born, we made a candy house for the children and they loved helping us make it (with plenty left over for them to eat). You can see it in these pictures. Lolly was fascinated with it and sometimes helped herself to some of the candy. My Dad and Mom came to see us just before the baby was born.

 

 

5. San Antonio, 1955-1958

San Antonio, 1955-58

        Minnie and I lived in San Antonio for the first three years of our marriage and our first two children were born there in 1957 and 1958. Minnie continued working at Kelly AFB as a top-secret typist for the OSI (Office of Special Investigations for the Air Force). I was attending Trinity University in San Antonio as a history major and also working full-time for San Antonio Savings & Loan Association in one of their branch offices in one of the Handy-Andy grocery stores. I was so busy with those two full-time assignments that our time together was even more special because I was so busy. Minnie filled her extra time with friends and family and cooking and reading and thinking about the future. We lived next door to Richmond Avenue Baptist Church so she often went there whenever they had services in the evening. Our first little apartment was so-o-o tiny that we could sit at the kitchen table eating supper and Minnie could reach things off the stove without getting up and I did the same with the refrigerator. This picture of my sister Darlene and her husband Leo with Minnie in our little kitchen gives an indication of the size.

 

            And during the first year we somehow managed to go to Alum Creek Baptist Church on Sundays with Bob and Bernice and Kenny and sometimes on Wednesdays for prayer meeting. Money was tight in our newlywed status. I remember sometimes we would stop on the way home and buy a 5 cent ice cream cone and share it. Now that’s romantic! ^-*) Our Sunday trips also enabled Minnie to see her mother almost every week-end. It was about 50 miles from where we lived to her Mom’s house in Stockdale. We were always invited to someone's home for Sunday lunch because we all stayed and waited for the evening service every Sunday evening. And sometimes we had family or church picnics. My grandfather who was a Baptist pastor sometimes came. He loved Minnie. The first time he met her as soon as she came in the door, he said, “Min, sit down and tell me how you love Jesus!” So Minnie did and they were friends ever since. Sometimes he would say, “I like to go see Min and Bill. Min sure feeds good!”

 

          We were married so quickly that Minnie’s many friends did not have time to give her a bridal shower so they did that the next month in October, 1955. Here is a picture of her at that shower wearing her beautiful wedding dress. The old snapshot is blurred but you can get some indication of the enormous number of gifts given to her. There were so many that I could not get them all in the car and we needed to take another load home the next time we came to Stockdale. We had enough sheets and towels and kitchenware to last us for many years. That shower showed the kindness and generosity of so many, many people. Minnie was so greatly loved everywhere she lived and Stockdale was her childhood home.

 

         I began teaching school in 1956 while I was still finishing my degree. I taught at Edgewood High School in San Antonio. That first year I taught English, Typing, and Business. I had mostly hispanic students and they were exceptionally polite in those days. They all responded to anything I told them with, “Sir, Mr. Burnside, yes sir.” At the end of that first year of teaching Minnie and I took my English class on the school bus to a park for a picnic with the help of several mothers. It was a special year for them and for me and Minnie, too. The next year I taught history at Sam Houston High School in San Antonio and was the sponsor (with Minnie’s help) of the Youth for Christ student organization.

        Both Minnie and I wanted 4 children and we were both very ready to get started on a family but we needed to wait until I finished college, as Minnie explained, “Before we were married we talked about family plans. We were both from families with 5 children and we both felt that we would like to have four children if the Lord allowed–and we prayed for two girls and two boys. The Lord answered our prayers.” (Indeed, yes! The children were born in 1957, 1958, 1959, and 1960! Many years later when Minnie was telling about this rapid sequence of children being born, she added, “And then I got a biology lesson!” And her audience laughed appreciatively. That was typical of her sense of humor. She was very quick with her wit and we laughed a lot together—not just in our early years, but all through her life.)

          She wrote, “Since Bill was still in college, we waited until he was in his last year to start our family. Jeannine was born the same week he graduated from Trinity University with a B.A. in history. Family was very important to us. We never considered not having children.” J-91

Six weeks before Jeannine was born Minnie took maternity leave from her job at Kelly AFB because in those days that was the official regulation for pregnant women. She had extra time on her hands so she spent a lot of time reading about nutrition and new things to cook or bake. She decided to learn how to bake bread simply by reading instructions in a couple of old cookbooks we had. She walked to the neighborhood grocery store and bought some flour and yeast. (She had to count her loose change because she just barely had enough money.) And when I came home from work that night, I was greeted with homemade bread! How surprised and delighted I was! And from then for the rest of her life Minnie baked almost all of our bread. She baked such a variety and all of them were excellent. The entire family certainly appreciated that extra work. She got very efficient at it and often tried new recipes. It became almost a tradition for her to bake some kind of sweet bread on Sunday afternoons for the family.

        Many years later after we had moved to Arkansas we woke up one Saturday morning and I told her, “Honey, I had a terrible dream last night. I dreamed that you died and you hadn’t taught me how to bake bread!” She laughed and laughed at that and then she said, “Well, Honey, today is Saturday. I’m going to teach you how to bake bread.” And she did! I entertained her all morning, though, because I had trouble learning how to knead bread without getting it to stick all over my hands. But with her help I finally mastered the technique and then quite often helped her knead the bread because we made so much. We would slice and wrap the fresh bread and then freeze it. It was so easy to thaw and toast the slices.

          “The birth of each child is very clear in my mind,” she wrote. “Such a miracle from the Lord! Jeannine was born on May 24, 1957 at the Baptist Memorial Hospital [in San Antonio]. They would not let the husband into the delivery room, so I felt very alone being taken there. J-92 Jeannine’s birth was so exciting for us and also for both sides of the family and we had a lot of visitors.

        It was only one year to the day before our second baby was born, William Timothy Burnside, born on Jeannine’s 1^st birthday, May 24, 1958. Minnie wrote, “ They took me back to the same room [in Baptist Memorial Hospital] I had been in one year before–and the air conditioner was again broken. We were so happy to have a little son join our little daughter.” J-92

4. Courtship and Marriage, 1955

Courtship and Marriage, 1955

        Our courtship was only seven weeks long. We met August 5, 1955 and were married on September 26, 1955. This was the most important event in our lives after knowing Christ as Savior and we were both well aware of it and joyful and thankful to the Lord for giving us to each other: “What God hath joined together.” In fact, we took as our “life verse for our marriage:” Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now unto him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” Many times in our marriage we would tell each other that the Lord had done “exceeding abundantly” more than we had even thought or asked for. Looking back after 54 years of marriage, I feel that more strongly than ever. What an amazing privilege to be married to Minnie all those years. How good and kind she was to me and such an excellent wife and mother. The heart of her husband trusts in her. . . . She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12 ESV That was so true of Minnie all her life. As beautiful as she was physically, her inner beauty of character surpassed even her physical beauty. She knew that scripture, “let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:4 ESV

          How did God in His providence bring the two of us together on August 5^th and 6^th 1955? I finished my tour of duty in the United States Army on 31 January 1955 and returned to college at Howard Payne College in Brownwood, Texas. My brother was living in San Antonio and was the lay pastor of Alum Creek Baptist Church, a mission church of Richmond Avenue Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. Alum Creek was a small country church just a few miles north of Stockdale on the road to Seguin. Minnie usually went to church in town at First Baptist but she had relatives and friends who attended Alum Creek and they all decided to go to some special meetings at Alum Creek. When those meetings ended, Minnie was still attending there temporarily and joined other young people from San Antonio for a church ice cream social the night she met me because I was one of those “young people from San Antonio.” I was staying with Bob and his wife Bernice and little 4-year old boy Kenny during the summer of 1955, intending to return to Howard Payne in the fall. I was working for my dad who was an accountant in San Antonio. Listen to how Minnie described our meeting:

          "In August 1955 I went to a church party with a group of girls. It was a 'tacky' party--meaning you wore jeans or something that was not 'dress up.' We were all in a backyard enjoying a cook out and home-made ice cream."

          "Suddenly I noticed a very handsome young man standing over in a part of the yard with no one near him, so I went over and introduced myself. He said his name was Billy Burnside. Little did I know that I had just introduced myself to the love of my life!"

         "The following Sunday morning the pastor introduced him and said that Bill would be teaching the young people on Sunday evenings! All the girls were excited--"

          "After church I asked him what we would be studying. He told me and I went home to study and prepare some questions to ask Bill! I wanted to get his attention! [Note from "Bill": she already had my attention!--riveted on her!] It worked. He asked me to ride back to San Antonio with him and his brother so we could continue the discussion. . . ." [That discussion continued for 54 years!] J-88-89

          Minnie had dated other boys, of course, and had one steady boy friend as well as others she liked, but the kids in Stockdale did many things together and she was very sociable. She loved getting together with the other kids but she worked so many hours that those social occasions were all the more special to her. She wrote, “When you grow up in a small town of 1,000, life is pretty simple. We lived near a river so we would sometimes take a picnic and swim in the river. We also liked to go to the movies. Our little town had a movie theater. We also went to all the activities at the local Baptist church.”

         “We also liked to go to Seguin, a town about 23 miles away. Seguin had a big park with a swimming pool, minature gold and lovely walking trails. There was a drive-in restaurant called The White House where we loved to go to eat. And we loved to go to rodeos and football games.” J-36

         Speaking of dating and boy-girl relationships, Minnie wrote, “I never felt that I was looking for love. God gave me lots of friends–both girls and guys. I was very young and very busy. We often did things as a group. You didn’t need to have a date to be part of things.” J-87

        She said, “I dated one guy off and on for several years. From the beginning my mother didn’t like him. She tried to explain why she thought he was bad for me, but I didn’t want to hear her objections. She allowed me to go out with him but she was strict about where we went and what time I had to be home.” (Later I was very glad that Minnie’s mother approved of me. She proved to be a very good mother-in-law!)

          One interesting dating incident tells something about Minnie’s theological knowledge even as a teen-ager: “A friend once arranged a blind date with a friend of his. I don’t remember the guy’s name but I remember a conversation. I asked him if he was a Christian and he said, “No.” Then he proceeded to tell me that God was just an idea in my head so it didn’t matter whether we agreed about it or not. I remember telling him that God was real and that Jesus showed us what God is like. I agreed that if God was only an idea in my head, it wouldn’t matter, but I knew that was false as I know the Lord.” J-87

 

        When I realized that I had already quickly “fallen in love” with Minnie, I also realized “how can two walk together except they be agreed” [as to where they’re going] Amos 3:3 so I knew I needed to find out what Minnie believed about life and God and the Bible and her purposes in life and what she thought about children and work and a whole host of beliefs. So one night after we began going out together, I stopped at a roadside park and began asking her a lot of questions about her beliefs. I hadn’t intended it as an oral exam, but several years later she asked me one night if I remembered that particular night and of course I did. She told me then, “Do you know what I almost asked you when we drove away from that roadside park? I wanted to ask you, “Did I pass?!” Obviously she did! And I’ve always been thankful, too, that I “passed” in her evaluation and decision to marry me.

        Many years later Minnie mentioned our courtship in a talk on Worship that she gave to the women’s group “Heart and Hand” at Sequim Bible Church, Sequim, Washington on Oct. 9, 2003. These are her verbatim comments: “And then I had various boyfriends of course as all girls do and then I met one boy friend that was very different because on every date he wanted to read the Bible together. And I thought, “Oh, this guy is really neat!” And we did. I don’t think we ever went out that we didn’t read the Bible and pray together. And we’re still doing that. [She said that with a sweet smile and approving laughter from the audience.] So the pattern from the time I met Bill of our relationship together was very much centered around the Lord.”

       Indeed it was because we both knew the words of Jesus, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:37 Obviously the same would apply to husband or wife so our love for Jesus had to be greater than for each other. In some ways that is difficult to comprehend because of the intense love we had for each other. But we knew what God required of us and we sought to be obedient and we taught those same truths to our children.

       “We both loved the Lord Jesus,” Minnie wrote in her journal, and wanted to serve Him. Our mutual love of the Lord and our desire to serve Him drew us very close to each other.”

       “From the beginning we had very long discussions about our views of the world, what we wanted in life and how our lives could bring glory to God.”

       “We became engaged in early September and were married on September 26–same summer we met! [1955] My roommate [Janet Chappel] had moved out and so we decided to change our wedding date from December to September. God has richly blessed our lives together.” J-88 Minnie was 18 and I was 22.

In her journal Minnie went into more detail:

       “Bill and I were engaged with plans to get married during the Christmas vacation of 1955 but my roommate decided she needed to move back with her parents, so I was left with an apartment and no transportation. This was on a Friday evening. I told Bill the problem and we tried to figure something out. Finally he said, ‘Well, I could cut class on Monday night and we could get married on Monday.’ Sounded like a good idea, but I told him we would need to talk to Mother. We drove to Stockdale and she agreed to help us get a one-day license on Monday. We planned to have just our families, but my Aunt put an invitation on the restaurant bulletin board and the little church [Alum Creek Baptist Church] was full. Bill’s brother, Bob, married us–his first wedding! We did not have a honeymoon at that time, but I spent a night in a motel for the first time!” J-90

1955 September 26 Wedding Picture--taken a few days later

         The church was full and it was a simple, but sweet wedding–although I missed the cue to come in on the wedding march and Janet had to start playing it a second time. An old couple who were friends of Minnie’s let us hide our car in their garage so that the boys wouldn’t be able to tie cans on it. And after all the ceremony my brother Bob followed us in a procession enroute to San Antonio and then when we got to a narrow section of the highway he began going very, very slowly, blocking the highway from the other cars behind him. Minnie and I took off quite fast towards San Antonio and none of them ever saw us again that night. We stayed in a motel in Alamo Heights and then rented our own apartment the next day. And we both had to go back to work the next day. My dad arranged for a friend to take this wedding picture the Friday following our Monday wedding. I took Minnie on what amounted to a delayed honeymoon to Colorado the next summer. [She was such a cute bride! She has on her wedding dress while we were wading in that cold Colorado river.]

Minnie 1956 in Colorado wading in the river wearing her wedding dress

Minnie in the Colorado Rockies on our "Honeymoon" Summer 1956

[Note: send me an e-mail and I'll send these pictures .pdf   They add so much to the story!

burnsidewm@cox.net

3. Living in town, 1945 to 1955

Living in town, 1945 to 1955

            When Minnie and her family moved to Stockdale, her mother began working in a cafe and cleaning houses or whatever work she could find. As soon as the children were old enough, they began working as well and helping with the family finances. Neighbors and relatives also brought produce from their garden or farm. Her father did what he could but cancer soon became too much to deal with. Minnie wrote, “From 1945 to 1949 our house was quiet a lot as my father was sick a lot, but he still loved having relatives and friends visit. We had lots of cousins and we played outside games.” (J.13)

 

School and work

        When they first left the farm, they lived where the children needed to ride the school bus but later they moved closer to the school and after that they always walked to school. (J.49) Third Grade was Minnie's first year in town and the next year she was very ill for a long time. She wrote, “When I was in 4^th grade I had the whooping cough. The other children had it also, and they all got over it, but I just kept coughing. I got to where I couldn't keep food down and lost a lot of weight. I was already thin. My big concern was that I would have to repeat 4^th grade since I was out of school for over two months. When I felt strong enough, I started doing my school work. Taking cod liver oil was something I remember. As I got stronger and went back to school, I soon caught up on my work and did fine.”    “I remember different neighbors cooking food they thought I could eat. The illness did scare me and I was weak for a long time.” (J.2)

        Minnie's first job for pay was when she was in 5^th grade and she worked for her fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Mills. “Mrs. Mills had three young children and she lived with her parents. She hired me to stay with them and help with the children. I would read to them, give them their baths and help with dinner. She had a lot of Christian books that I read. The summer between 5^th and 6^th grade, she went to summer school so I stayed there and helped the grandparents with the children. I cannot remember how much she paid me as I gave the money to my parents. Mrs. Mills and her parents read the Bible aloud after dinner and we all talked about what we read.” (J.42)

        Minnie was still 10 years old when she began her first full-time job in a cafe. She wrote, “When my 6^th grade year started I was working from the time I got out of school until almost 10 PM. My homework was done between washing lots of dishes at the cafe or after I got home at night. Not doing what was assigned was not an option. My teachers described me as being very responsible. When I was in 7^th grade some students didn't have their homework and my teacher said, “If Minnie could work until 10 PM and have hers done, there is no excuse for you.” I remember talking to the teacher and asking her not to use me as an example as the kids teased me and called me Teacher's Pet.” (J.54)

Holidays

        “Before my dad died in 1949 lots of his relatives would come to our house [for Thanksgiving]. They would get there early in the day and the women would spend the complete morning cooking. Pies had been baked in advance. All of the cousins would play outside, but we were sometimes called in to help.”

        “The men usually sat on the porch and talked. When we lived in the country, they would look at the animals and whatever was growing.”

       “Turkey and corn bread dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, candied sweet potatoes, salads and pumpkin, apple and pecan pies were all delicious. Sometimes all the kids took their plates out under a shade tree to eat.” (J.16)

Minnie's close relationship to her father

        Knowing that his death was impending, Minnie's father grew even closer to the Lord and very close to Minnie. His life and his premature death left a major impact on her life.  She wrote, “We were always in church, and as his illness progressed, he became closer and closer to his Lord. He spoke of how he didn't want to leave mother and his 5 young children but he was ready to meet his Lord in heaven.”

        “I admire the fact that he loved family—not only his wife and kids but the extended family—and his Biblical views of living. He felt strongly about purity, modesty, and honesty.  “The year I was eleven, I would get home from work at almost 10 PM. Daddy was very ill, but usually awake. I treasured the advice he gave me in those night talks. He died well!” (J.9)

        Minnie wrote just a few months before she died, “My father died when I was still eleven years old – I was very close to him and I missed him and his wise counsel. I treasured all he taught me about the Lord.” (J.165)

      Elsewhere she wrote in more detail about her relationship with her father: “I didn't get to know him when I was an adult, but I knew him well. When I would get home from work, I would sit by his bed and we would talk. He would tell me that he was going to heaven and would not get to see me grow up. I remember him telling me what kind of person he wanted me to be. He wanted me to love the Lord, never smoke or drink or have sex before marriage. Honesty was very important to him and family – He thought his brothers would help Mother [she drew a sad face] they didn't. He would also tell all of us to obey, love and respect our mother. He often reminded us that the Bible said God would be a husband to the widows and father to the fatherless! How true this was in our family.” (J.85)

Death of Minnie's father, age 39: Elmo Carroll West, March 19, 1949

        Minnie was working the night her father died and when she saw her Uncle Mart West coming in the cafe door with a very solemn look on his face, she realized what was happening. Her father's children gathered around his bed and God gave him enough strength to say yet a few more words to them and to commit them to the care of the Lord. He passed away peacefully and his funeral was conducted by the two preachers who had visited him in his illness so often, the Assembly of God minister and the pastor of the local Church of Christ. He was buried in the Steel Branch cemetery in the Pleasant Valley area.

Minnie's widowed mother's family leadership

        “Mother felt very strongly that children should show respect to adults, never talk back to her and be obedient and honest. She would not take welfare and she taught all five children to work hard to support our family. My dad had not paid social security - so we learned to trust the Lord, be frugal and work hard.” (J.10)

        “After Daddy died, we all worked. I remember the boys riding on the back of the ice truck and carrying the blocks of ice into people's ice boxes. The boys did a paper route, hauled hay, Buddy learned to run the projector at the local movie theatre. I remember Billy washing dishes in a cafe - Patsy worked as a waitress and we both helped Mother clean houses – We were taught to work hard and to appreciate having work to do as we needed to work together to support our family – Mother helped us develop a strong work ethic.” (J.68)

        “Family was very important to my mother. She was only 31 when my father died. She was left with 5 children – no money – and he had been a tenant farmer and had never paid social security, so her future looked bleak.”   “She said, 'we have each other and we will all work hard to stay together.' My father's brothers wanted her to put the three boys in an orphanage! She told them that she would never ask them for anything – and that if we starved we would do it together.”

“We all worked hard and many in our community helped us by bringing fresh produce. . . . She taught us to trust the Lord and to be thankful.” (J.84)

Christmas, 1949

        The first Christmas after Minnie's father died brought some joy and excitement into the family's life. Holidays had always been spent with her dad's family, the Wests. Now more time would be spent with Ruth's family, the Marcrums who lived in Austin. Minnie wrote in her journal, “We loved Christmas as it was a time to be out of school and home with our parents. We were very poor, so we didn't get a lot of presents. Mother would sew new outfits for each of us – often using fabric from feed sacks or her younger sister's cast-off clothes – we didn't mind, they were new to us. She was a good cook and made pies, cakes & cookies. Our Christmas meal was a lot like Thanksgiving plus a ham – and we always had fruitcake. There would be a Christmas program at church – we loved getting the mesh stocking filled with nuts, candy and fruit.”   “We often opened gifts on Christmas Eve as extended family came for Christmas Day. Christmas of 1950 [I'm sure she means 1949.] was the first one after Daddy's death and the first one we spent in Austin with Mother's family.” (J.17)

        “I remember our first Christmas in Austin. The day after Christmas Mother, Grandmother and some aunts decided to go downtown to see what was on sale. Granddaddy said he would take all the kids to an afternoon movie. After the ladies left, we all went to town on a city bus. We saw a double feature. Then he took us to the soda fountain in a Kress store for ice cream. We got on a city bus and started home. At the next bus stop, we saw all the ladies. Granddaddy told us to pretend we didn't know them, so we were all giggling when they got on.”  “Granddaddy had a great sense of humor. He told silly jokes that made all the kids laugh. He enjoyed being with us. He died in 1953 – and I missed him a lot!”

         “I only had one grandmother, Pearl Marcrum. She got married when she was only 14 years old – and she was 37 years old when I was born. She had a son only 5 months older than I and one 2 years younger, so she didn't make being a grandparent a big deal. She had ten children and I always felt she was a bit stern and strict. And I didn't like my middle name – Pearl – which mother gave me since grandmother wanted a name sake.”

       “When I was about thirteen, I started spending a week in Austin most summers. Mostly I went places with my two young uncles. We would take a bus to the capital to see grandaddy – and that was great fun. Grandmother died in her sleep in December 1956.” (J. 24-25)

House fire, 1950

        Disaster very nearly struck that young family with a widow and five children during the cold early months of 1950. Minnie always believed that her mother was protected by the Lord on a winter day in 1950 when she lit the kerosene stove to cook supper and then went outside to take the clothes off the clothes line while the stove was heating up. While she was unpinning the clothes from the line, the stove suddenly blew up and engulfed the kitchen with flames. The house they were living in was across the street from the fire department and the volunteer fire department was immediately called and the men came running to help only to discover that the keys to the building were on someone's farm not far from town. By the time the building was opened and the fire truck available, the house had burned to the ground with everything in it. All was lost—but no one was injured. Just think what a tragedy was avoided simply because Ruth was outside instead of inside that kitchen inferno.

          Minnie was in school in the 8^th grade and hearing the fire alarm, she jumped up and cried out, “That's our house!” and without waiting for a response, ran out the door and ran home. Pat joined her very soon and they stood watching their house burn to the ground, so thankful that their mother and the whole family was safe. Minnie and Pat stood with their arms around each other on that cold winter day with the crowd gathering around and people trying to fight the flames the best they could. Minnie looked back at the porch room where she and Pat slept with only ducking as shelter from the cold. The girls had always had to go to bed in a very cold room (although their mother often heated bricks to help keep their feet warm.) When Minnie saw that porch room burning, she whispered to Pat, “Our room is warm!” and both girls burst out laughing to the consternation of their mother—until Minnie told her what she had said! Then she, too, could barely control her laughter.

        The generous people of the community and the extended family rallied to this poor widow and her children and did what they could to supply places for them to stay and food for them to eat and clothing to replace what was lost in the fire. Minnie stayed with Janet Chapel and her family. She wrote, “I loved going to their house because it was very quiet.” but “Janet loved the activity of our busy house.” And Patsy married Janet's cousin that very year while she was only 15 years old. (And Minnie was 13.)

        One of the local store owners opened her store that evening just for Ruth and her children and had her pick out clothes for each one of them as her gift to help the family. Many years later Minnie recalled that bleak winter night: “So there we stood on a cold December afternoon with mother and the clothes we had on. Brownie opened her store and outfitted all 6 of us – Everything – panties, socks, & new outfits! A gift! The next day many families brought clothes. We stayed with wonderful friends – The 5 of us and their son all slept on the living room floor and shared the outhouse.” (J.11)

A new home

         The family again saw God's providential care of them when a lot of people in the community got together to raise funds to purchase property so that the men of the town could build a house for this widow and her children in their midst. There was a lot of enthusiasm and a lot of hard work. But volunteer work and contributions built a house for the family. “The men of the town told Mother they were going to build us a house. They had rodeos, fish fries – all kinds of fund-raising for a house for Ruth and her 5 children. We were amazed. They bought the lot right next to where we were staying and built a modest little house—the first home we ever owned! Later mother bought the back lot for a garden and added on a bathroom and extra large back bedroom. In her later years she added on a room for her quilting. No wonder the family feels such an attachment to the Stockdale community. This little place was home to Minnie until she married and it was home to her Mother until she died in April, 1996, while we were missionaries at Christ's College in Taipei. It is presently owned by our son Timothy. (J.11)

 

School, Work, Church, Family, Friends

       Minnie's life was filled with work and responsibilities but also with happiness. She was always such a cheerful, helpful person and people loved her greatly. She made many friends and the adults of the community respected her greatly. She wrote, “Since I was at work, I enjoyed the times when the coffee shop wasn't goo busy. Talking with people that came in was neat. I was friends with all the grown ups in town. Sometimes friends would come in and just hang out. I liked having time to just be a kid.” (J.51)

       “I have always liked people and been blessed with lots of friends. Being popular was never very important to me, but being respected was. My mother often pointed out that a good reputation was very important – she loved to tell me to avoid all appearances of evil!”   “Since I started working in a coffee shop when I was eleven, I knew all the adults in town and they liked me. That meant more to me than what the kids at school thought about me.” (J.30)

        Minnie was very intelligent and a hard worker, always dependable. Of course she excelled in school. Math was her favorite subject. Looking back at her life as an adult, she wrote, “From the time I was in 6^th grade until 9^th, I thought it would be fun to have my own coffee shop. Then in 9^th grade, I took Algebra I and decided being a math teacher would be much better. Helping other students with their homework encouraged me as they would tell me that it seemed easier when I showed them how to think about the problem. I felt that many of them were not making connections with things they had already learned.”

 

        “My math classes were always my favorites—I did numbers better than spelling! I liked the logic of math and the exactness of it. Since our school was small, I had the same teacher for Algebra I, Geometry, and Algebra II. Her name was Mrs. Williams—and she was an excellent teacher. I liked her strictness. She encouraged me to become a math teacher. Geometry was my favorite. I loved doing proofs. I still think the formal proofs are a great way to teach logical thinking. I found symbolic logic very easy after geometry.” (J.44-45)

 

        Minnie also enjoyed home economics since it was a double period class and they had time to do some serious sewing and cooking. She enjoyed both and learned most of her skills from her mother at home. Minnie particularly appreciate Arlena Luker, the PE and Science teacher because she “had a lot of influence on all the girls. She would talk to us about modesty and sexual purity. We all respected her as we knew she really cared about our welfare – and she had a great sense of humor. An advantage of living in a small town is that teachers know your parents and when I was a child, the teachers wanted us to honor our parents' standards of behavior.” (J.47)

         “When you grow up in a small town of 1,000 life is pretty simple. We lived near a river so we would sometimes take a picnic and swim in the river. We also liked to go to the movies. Our little town had a movie theatre. We also went to all the activities at the local Baptist church.”   “We also liked to go to Seguin, a town about 23 miles away. Seguin had a big park with a swimming pool, miniature golf and lovely walking trails. There was a drive-in restaurant called the White House where we loved to go to eat. And we loved to go to rodeos and football games.” (J.36)

 

       Minnie never played organized sports but she wished later that she could have. She “liked watching football, basketball, volley ball and tennis. The only sport I enjoyed playing,” she said, “was volley ball. Since I worked after school from the time I was eleven years old, I didn't have to take P.E. As I needed to do my school work. They let me have study hall instead of P.E. Looking back on it, I wish I had gone to P.E. Classes and learned to play more sports.” (J.50)

      “During my senior year I got off work on nights we had football games as I was one of the flag girls in the band. That was fun – but on the nights we had home games, I had to leave the game a little early, get back to the restaurant, change and wait on the crowd from the games.” J. 51

        “Since I had skipped 11^th grade, I graduated with students a year older than I. Since I liked school, leaving was a bit sad, but I knew that as soon as I turned 17, I would begin working in San Antonio at Kelly A.F.B. This was a very good job and I was excited about earning a decent salary and being able to help Mother support my 3 younger brothers. Also I would have my evenings free. Mother had arranged for me to have a room at her good friend's home. She did not want me to have an apartment with friends until I was 18 years old. I respected her judgment.”   “My cousin, Sarah, also skipped 11^th grade so I wasn't alone in the new class. We are both invited to class reunions of 1954 and 1955.”

Jubilee Queen, 1955

      “Each year our home town had a Watermelon Jubilee. The Chamber of Commerce selected 4 to 6 girls—usually seniors—to run for Queen of the festival and to represent Stockdale in the other local celebrations. I was very disappointed when I was not asked to run the year I was a senior. A few days after the girls were selected, the president of the Chamber of Commerce told me that I would be asked to run the next year since they felt sure one of the town official's daughters would be selected in 1954. Besides that, I had skipped grade 11, so should have been a senior in 1955. Sure enough, I was selected to run in 1955—and I won. There was a big meeting at the Community Building. Anyone that paid $2.00 to join the Watermelon Association could vote. This was all a lot of fun. My mother was so happy that I was selected.”

        “We were invited to be on some T.V. Shows to promote the festival and I remember being on a show where the Texas Top Hands were playing and singing—the Bob Wills Show. He sang and played the mandolin. I remember they teased me and wanted me to sing with them but I cannot sing. I remember that they announced me as 'Pretty Little Minnie Pearl West from Stockdale.'”

       “During 1955 my court rode in several parades and were in several other festivals. When you are 17 and 18, this is all lots of fun. Winning meant a lot to me since I was elected by the adults in town—and I was the first girl from a family without political ties or money to win. My picture was on the front page of the Flying Time Paper for airmen at Kelly A.F.B. The young airmen kept coming through the office I worked in to see me and say hello!!”